


Blackout

by MufasaTheChill



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Welcome to Trope City enjoy your stay, but not too slow because I'm not patient, city-wide blackout, heat wave, it's really freaking hot is basically the plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-17
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-08-15 11:19:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8054269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MufasaTheChill/pseuds/MufasaTheChill
Summary: Temperature and emotions are rising in the Ghostbusters' fire station, and the heat wave plaguing New York City has little to do with it.Or the one where Erin and Holtzmann find themselves stuck having to hold the (figuratively burning) fort ; which wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for Erin's "newfound" attraction for her colleague, and the entire city abruptly going dark.





	1. Popsicles and Broken Fans

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to my lovely beta, Alex (askboxangel).  
> All possible mistakes are my own, as English is not my native language. I'll just ask for you not to be too harsh if I messed up something major and it went unnoticed! But constructive criticism is appreciated!
> 
> I'm not sure where this is going but I'm a sucker for sexual tension and all the tropes that come with it, so expect a lot of that!  
> Enjoy?

"You can build nuclear weapons but it takes you hours to fix one single fan?" Patty's incredulous and irritated tone resonated in the first floor of the fire station.

Behind the front desk, Holtzmann spun around in her chair, facing her, holding an old gameboy with a blank expression. The Pokemon theme could be heard faintly. "I got distracted"

New York had been facing a particularly brutal heat wave for a week now, transforming the Ghostbusters HQ into a giant oven and leaving its five occupants particularly inefficient. Well, not that Kevin was ever efficient anyway, but he had been staying at his place (with his A/C) for the past 3 days now, just plain refusing to come to work. Nobody blamed him. The air was sweltering in the fire station, the kind of heat that made it hard to breathe, the humidity sticking right into your lungs. So, yeah, the girls didn't blame their secretary for choosing a sweat-free and breathable environment. Business had been slow anyway, apparently even ghosts didn't enjoy that type of weather. It was for the best though, none of the girls would probably be able to handle running around in jumpsuits and 10 kilos of equipment on their backs without passing out.

Abby, Erin and Patty just came back from their "Ice Patrol", as Abby patented it, which basically consisted on raiding the nearby stores and buying as many popsicle boxes as 3 pairs of arms could carry (18 boxes. 20 when Patty was motivated enough). They left for the last patrol an hour ago, and left Holtzmann in charge of fixing the only fan they had on the third floor, a.k.a the living quarters. They owned 5 more, and they were all being used by the engineer on the second floor to cool down all the machinery in her lab. _"Better suffocate from the heat than die from a nuclear detonation, right?"_ was the pretext Holtzmann gave them for striping the living room of its only source of cold air. It was a pretty valid excuse (it's always a valid excuse when nuclear explosions are involved) but now she "got distracted" from fixing the only fan left for the living area, one she herself broke by swinging a pipe around to the beat of some obscure 80s tune, and so, naturally, Patty was _pissed_.

"Girl, you had one job."

Holtzmann slouched even more into her seat, dropping her arms on either side of it and her head on the back, spinning it a few times with a growl. "I can fix this in 5 minutes, it's no big deal". One more spin. "Let's trade". The chair stopped, Holtzmann grinned. "One popsicle against one fixed fan?"

Patty sighed. Abby, who just finished stuffing the freezer with their loot (yes, Holtzmann and Patty insisted on having a fridge and freezer on the “office” floor), grabbed an icy treat from the box she was carrying and threw it at Holtzmann.

"You got a deal, now get to work".

"No more video games until you're done", warned Patty.

Holtzmann grinned, then paused, eyeing her still-wrapped popsicle. "Can I trade this one for a watermelon flavor instead? Not a fan of strawberries."

Patty glared at her, Abby shook her head, and Erin, who'd been silent since they came back, broke into a fit of giggles. The glaring was now directed at her. She cleared her throat.  
The giggling had been happening a lot lately, Abby and Patty noticed. Even when the engineer's antics and jokes were directed at Erin, they found the physicist to be more flustered and amused than annoyed and embarrassed by it these past few months. Had they all become closer since the battle of New York? Of course. But even Abby, who'd known Holtz longer than her colleagues, didn't laugh at her jokes as often as Erin recently had. The physicist didn't seem to have noticed her subtle change in behavior around the engineer, but Abby and Patty didn't share her obliviousness. Girl had it bad. They kept it to themselves, though. Abby wasn't sure that even Erin herself knew that her attitude towards her colleague had changed.

"You..." More throat clearing. "You can have a watermelon one when the fan is fixed." Erin tried her best strict tone, and failed miserably. Patty glared at her some more, unconvinced. Abby snorted.

"I'm the one making the deals here, Dr. Gilbert. One treat for me, one treat for you. That's how it works." Holtzmann grinned.

Patty huffed, throwing her hands into the air after seeing Erin's cheeks turn pink.

"You got 10 minutes Holtz, no more, no less!" she said before taking the stairs, heading to the third floor. Abby shook her head once more at the engineer, who was still grinning in her chair, before throwing her the popsicle she wanted. "You heard her, 10 minutes. We need that fan for the living room, it's a furnace up there", Abby said, one finger pointing at the engineer. She followed Patty upstairs, the box of treats tucked under her arm.

"I said 5 minutes, it will be 5 minutes!" Holtzmann yelled back, unwrapping her popsicle before biting it and making a face as the cold jolted her teeth. She turned to Erin, who was still staring, her cheeks still flushed. She winked at her and added with a popsicle-full grin "I'm a woman of my word."

At this, Erin snapped out of it and muttered something unintelligible about broken fans and popsicles before walking to the stairs and stumbling ungracefully on the first step.

  
  
_  


  
  


Exactly five minutes later, Holtzmann bounced happily into the little improvised living room of the third floor, chewing on her popsicle stick. 

The room was modest in its size. A TV had been placed in one of the corners, a couch and an armchair facing it, an antique rug from Erin’s place was hiding the concrete floor under them. Scientific and sci-fi posters, christmas lights ( _“What? I love Christmas”_ Abby had defended her decorating choice), framed art, a gigantic map of New York and a few bookshelves furnished by all four of them masked the walls. A small table and two chairs stood in front of the only window. A fridge full of colorful and childish magnets was nestled in another corner. It was cosy. The rest of the floor contained a bathroom and one small “emergency” bedroom that the girls could use any time they pulled an all-nighter working in the station. Very cosy. It felt like home but today it felt as if home was on fire.

Abby was lounging on the couch, fanning herself with a Chinese food pamphlet, the sleeves of her “Pluto, never forgotten” shirt rolled up on her shoulders; Patty was sitting by the window in hope of catching a breeze (it wasn't working, but her usually-perfect-hair was still ruffled). She was reading a magazine, something about architecture. Erin was laying down on the hard concrete floor, eyes closed, pants rolled up to her knees and tank top tucked in her bra and into a knot.

Holtzman dramatically cleared her throat. "Ladies, your humble servant and savior comes back triumphant to gift you with the power of cool air goodness." She plugged-in the (rather big) fan and turned it on, putting it on the coffee table facing the couch. "Behold!"

The faint humming of the machine was mixed with groans of relief from Abby, and soon enough Patty was joining her on the couch.

"We wouldn't have needed a savior if someone didn't smash the poor thing in the first place." Patty tried to sound irritated, but the cool air on her skin made it hard to stay mad at the engineer much longer. Holtzmann mouthed a "love you too", all smiles, before turning to Erin who was still laying on the floor a few meters from the couch, apparently not budging a muscle to come enjoy the fixed fan.

"I think she is dead" Holtzmann whispered to her two friends, before walking towards Erin and taking her popsicle stick, now void of ice but coated in sticky green sugar, out of her mouth.

She stealthily crouched next to the physicist and stopped to look at her. Her bangs stuck to her forehead and the tip of her nose was twitching ever so slightly whenever a drop of sweat rolled on it. Holtzmann seemed lost in thought for a few seconds, Abby and Patty noticed, observing the scene from the couch. Abby was about to make a teasing comment, but was stopped by a loud yelp from Erin, whom Holtzmann apparently had just poked in the waist with her popsicle stick.

"She is alive!" The engineer triumphantly screamed, hands in the air.

Erin punched her lightly in the thigh. "Why would you scare me like that?!"

Abby shook her head at their antics for what seemed to be the hundredth time today, before letting out a quiet laugh. Patty was snickering.

"I thought you were dead." Holtzmann smiled, rubbing the spot where Erin had punched her. "I was just being a good friend and checking for any signs of life. I'm still not convinced, though." She poked her one more time for good measure, Erin swatted her hand away.

"Stop it! It's gross and sticky."

"We are all gross and sticky in this incinerator of a station. You'll probably live." Patty shot from the couch. Abby nodded in agreement.

Holtzman laughed at that. "Not that I don't enjoy laying on the floor myself, but there's a newly working fan over there, plus the couch is comfier."

"But that spot on the floor is cool," whined Erin, before mumbling something about being too lazy to move anyway.

"It is?" asked Holtz, now intrigued and knotting her shirt on its front before laying next to the physicist, putting her yellow-tinted glasses on her head. "It is!"

"For real?!" Inquired Patty.

"Yeah!"

At that, Patty walked over, made Erin scooch and laid down on her other side. "It really is! Abby, bring the fan over here!"

"And pillows?" Erin inquired.

"And some popsicles!" added Holtzmann.

And Abby did just that.

  


They stayed like this for minutes, then hours, going through two boxes of popsicles. Abby fell asleep, Patty was filling up crosswords with the "help" of Holtzmann, who purposefully gave exuberant answers, making Erin laugh in the process.  
They all eventually drifted to sleep, except for Erin. While Patty and Abby were careful not to touch anyone else, avoiding making the sweatiness and heat worse for any of their friends, Holtzmann apparently didn't mind pressing her side onto Erin's, her right calf draped over Erin's left, her forehead pushed gently against her naked shoulder. Erin was warm, and not from the impossible heat, she noticed. It was different, the warmth located in her ears, her face, and her chest. Holtzmann moved ever so slightly, her face pressing against Erin's shoulder a little more, her leg slowly sliding against hers. She let out a sleepy noise, Erin let out a whimper. The warmth had moved onto her lower stomach.

_"Well, shit."_


	2. Photos and Lobsters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please excuse my weird humor.  
> Again, be kind with any mistakes you see, English isn't my first language yada yada yada
> 
> I'm turning the gay a little bit up in this one, enjoy!

"ABBY NO, DON'T ANGER THE GROUNDHOG!"

To say that Patty was startled by the loud and incoherent cry was an understatement. From the armchair, she watched Erin emerging from a particularly agitated sleep and turned down the volume of her movie.

"Do I even want to ask what you were dreaming about?", she asked the disoriented red head, chuckling.

She was answered with mumbles (something about Holtz stealing a groundhog's pants and Abby setting said pants on fire?) and eyed Erin rising from the floor, a popsicle stick stuck in her messy post-nap hair.

"How long have I been out? Where are the others?", the sleepy woman managed to ask.

"You and Holtz were sound asleep when Abby and I woke up. You slept for an hour after that. We woke up Holtzy so she could go grab some dinner with Abby, something more substantial than iced sugary water!"

"Good..." Erin yawned "Good thinking. You could have woken me up, though. I could've helped."

"Nah, you looked like you needed your beauty sleep." Patty smiled knowingly, making Erin immediately suspicious.

"What did you draw on my face?"

"Wha-? Nothing! How old do you think I am?"

"It's not you I'm worried about." Erin grumbled, but after a swift look onto her phone screen, she was relieved to find her face void of any graffitis. "If not that, then what?" 

"Nothing." Patty turned back to the TV, turning the volume up again.

"Patty." 

"We might have taken... some pictures. Well, Abby might have." Patty's voice was almost a whisper, so it took Erin a second to register what she had said. 

"Oh, come on!" Erin went to sit on the couch. "Are they on your phone?"

Patty stayed silent, failing miserably at making a poker face, looking straight into the TV. Erin frowned and launched herself over Patty's lap, reaching for her phone resting on the arm of her chair. The city historian swiftly took her device and put it over her own head, out of reach of the much smaller other woman.

"Patty, please! I won't delete them, I promise, I just want to see." Erin pleaded, hand open in front of her. "Please!"

"Mmmmmh..." Mischief sparked behind Patty's eyes "All right. It's actually not that bad, it's even kind of cute." she conceded, unlocking her phone and scrolling through her gallery before handing it to her friend. And man, seeing Erin silently gasp and turn scarlet was worth betraying her promise to Abby that she wouldn't show her the photos she took.

The pictures were mostly of Holtzmann draped over Erin in her sleep, each picture showed a new position more awkward than the last. _"Is her hand on my boobs?! Am I drooling?! How does her arm make that angle...? IS HER HAND ON MY BOOBS AGAIN?!"_ was all that went through Erin's head. Patty was gloating next to her, visibly pleased, but her face fell when Erin swept after a picture of Holtzmann laying completely on top of Erin, horizontally, face flat on the ground. Erin yelped.

"PATTY!"

On the screen was a picture of the three women crouched over Erin's sleeping body making a variety of ridiculous salutes, half of Patty's face cut off. On top of Erin was a multitude of objects, amongst them: an empty box of popsicle, a gameboy, a whale plushie, a travel mug, a screwdriver, two books, a bottle of water. Three pillows were stacked on top of each other on her legs, two markers were stuck in her nostrils and a purple bra was tied around her head, rambo style.

She swatted Patty with a pillow. "You all are worse than children!" 

Patty's roaring laugh made the physicist smile despite herself, so she gave her back her phone, honoring her promise not to delete any of the infamous photos.

"See," Patty cleared her throat in between two fits of laughter "it was kind of cute."

"I wouldn't call having a bra as a hat and pens in my nose 'cute'."

"I'm not talking about that picture."

Erin's cheeks flushed again. "It wasn't... horrible, no." She whispered.  
Patty grinned widely, teasingly and silently poking her in the shoulder over and over, until Erin grabbed a pillow and smacked her in the face with it once more.  


 

_  


 

"What do you think Erin wants?"

"What?" Holtzmann was put out of her trance by Abby's question. She had been intently looking at the lobster tank in the middle of the market. They'd been walking in circles for the past 30 minutes trying to decide what to buy. So far, all Abby's basket contained was Nutella and three boxes of cereals. "I wouldn't know. She can be quite hard to read when she wants to be."

"Holtzmann."

"Yup?"

"I meant for dinner. What do you think she would want for dinner."

"Oh." Holtzmann paused. "Probably something easy to eat, y'know, not too greasy; she seemed pretty tired. So, yeah, fish should do." She gestured to the fish tray Abby had in her hands before resuming her staring contest against a particularly big lobster, but her eyes were unfocused, following a drop of condensation rolling down the glass.

"What did you think I was asking?" Abby squinted at her, a smile creeping on her face.

The "Nothing." that followed was said way too fast for someone who seemingly wasn't paying attention to the conversation. After a few seconds, Holtzmann spoke again.

"Do you think..."

"Yes?" Abby eagerly inquired.

"... that it would be refreshing if I put my face in that nice, cold water?" was the engineer's last words before she went to dive her head into the lobster tank.

"HOLTZMANN, NO!"  


 

_  


 

The BANG of the front door "opening" made both Erin and Patty jump. After a particularly short pillow fight, because of the impossible heat, they had settled on the couch, fan on the floor directed at them. Erin was deep in thought, writing notes on a pad and shuffling around in three different books, and Patty was on her phone.

"Holtzmann, I told you to stop kicking the door open. It's going to break one day." Abby's reprimanding tone could be heard faintly from the first floor. "Help me out with th- HOLTZMANN!"

A ruffling of plastic bags and a stomping in the stairway hit Erin's ears. The noise of the engineer's boots grew louder and faster, in unison with Erin's heartbeat. A heartbeat that skipped altogether when the other woman's voice roared happily into the living room.

"IT'S DINNER TIME, LADIES!" Holtzmann was brandishing two bags full of food in each hand over her head. Though this wasn't what caught Patty's attention when she turned to look at her.

"You're wet."

Holtzmann's grin grew lewd, she opened her mouth, but Patty stopped her.

"Don't say it."

"That's-"

"NO!"

"-what she said."

"Oh my god." Patty chuckled despite herself, hand covering her face in desperation.

Erin, on the other hand, was still resting on the arm of the couch, nose buried in her books. She had swiftly turned to look at Holtzmann during her banter with Patty, and quickly regretted her decision.

Holtz was still wearing the same outfit as earlier: Glasses resting on her head, simple purple shirt knotted on its front, revealing her stomach ; black pants too big for her and rolled up to her knees with too many pockets to count, and a pair of suspenders. But as nice as it all was, what caught Erin's eye was that the blonde was, indeed, drenched. Her shirt and her hair dripping on the floor. 

Erin’s ears were ringing. _"Why in hell is this happening now?"_ was the last thought she had before attempting to speak, still without making eye-contact.  
"Wh- What- Why?! What, uhm. What happened to you?" 

Holtzmann wasn’t the one who answered the question.

"She thought it would be a good idea to go for a swim with the lobsters at the fishmonger's." Abby had appeared on the frame of the staircase. At this, Erin snorted and finally turned her head towards her friends.

"Wait, you're serious?" She asked after seeing the disapproving look on Abby's face.

"Dead serious."

Patty just squinted at Holtzmann, head slowly shaking and mouth slightly agape in a _"What the hell is wrong with you?"_ kind of way.

"We got kicked out" Holtzmann smiled wider. She gave Erin a thumb's up before adding "Worth it."

"You smell." Deadpanned Abby. "Just.. go shower, I'll fix us some dinner. We still have that barbecue installed on the roof, right?" 

Erin shrugged, but Patty nodded before adding "I'll come help you out." 

And at that they both left the room.  
  
Erin, still sitting on the couch, had one arm over the back of it and the other hand tapping a book with her pencil rhythmically. Her eyes were focusing on everything but the still-very-much-soaking-wet blonde in the room, while Holtzmann's eyes weren't focused on anything but Erin. 

"Aren't you going to go shower?" Erin broke the nerve wracking silence, eyes back to her books, still refusing to look at her.

Holtzmann silently walked to her and rested one elbow on the back of the couch. Erin's ears were burning, she feigned reading but saw a hand moving to her face, slowly, from the corner of her eye. Were fingers in her hair? She swallowed and opened her mouth to ask what the blonde was doing. As she looked up, her nose bumped on a popsicle stick that Holtzmann was holding inches from her face.

"This was stuck in your hair," Holtzmann smiled, putting the small piece of wood in one of her pockets. She walked backwards in the direction of the bathroom, only breaking eye contact with a flustered Erin to smoothly turn to the door. 

The physicist watched said door closing, eyes burning holes through it. A good minute later, the sounds of the water running and the city outside came crashing back all at once, startling her. She covered her face with one of the couch pillows and let out a muffled and very frustrated scream. She stayed like this for a few seconds before throwing the pillow at the bathroom door with a groan, the soft object hitting it with a pathetic "plet".

 

_

 

"Do you think Erin is doing okay?" Abby flipped the fish and burgers on the grill, absentmindedly gesturing towards the six-pack sitting on a chair.

Patty reached in and handed her a bottle, before taking a swig out of her own and answering:  
"Nah, the poor thing is probably dying in there. Did you see how red she was?" She chuckled.

Abby nodded and laughed at that. "Aahh..." She sighed with a smile "We are assholes." she added, matter-of-factly, before clinking her beer against Patty's, who just smirked in agreement.

A comfortable silence settled on the roof, until Abby spoke again. “I was thinking of going home for the weekend. Nobody reported an apparition for a week now, and the work I do here when I’m not busting with you guys can be done sitting on my own couch with my own fan. Plus I’m not too far away if there’s an emergency.”

“Uh.”

“Would that be okay with you?” Abby asked, worried she might have came off as a bit of a deserter.

“Yeah yeah, no, it’s just that…” Patty’s mouth curved into a smirk. “My Uncle texted me earlier, and he needs an extra pair of hands this weekend. I kind of still owe him for destroying his hearse last year. The man is never gonna let this go.”

“I see.”

“Yup.”

"So, someone will have to hold the fort with Holtzmann."

"Mhm, yep."

Both women did a fairly good job at containing their giggle, until Patty spoke again.

“Well, R.I.P Erin Gilbert."

Beer shot out of Abby's nose and Patty’s laughter could be heard from all the way down the street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> R.I.P Abby's nostrils
> 
> Art for the picture of Erin sleeping: http://toodrunktofindaurl.tumblr.com/post/150620395946/poor-erin-illustration-for-blackout-chapter


	3. Cards and Crossbows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's turn up the heat a little bit. Literally.
> 
> As always, be nice to my non-English butt, sorry for the awkward writing, and enjoy!

The Ghostbusters were quietly finishing their dinner and beers, huddled around the coffee table, the only noise in the room coming from the TV. Holtzmann had put on an obscure UFO and outer space documentary earlier and was watching it absentmindedly from her spot on the floor, her back against the couch. Patty was updating her Instagram with one picture she had snapped on the roof earlier and another of their food on the table. Abby was finishing her drink in the armchair, looking intently at Erin, sitting on the couch behind the engineer. The red head's eyes were focused on the flat screen, shifting every now and then to look discreetly (or what she thought was discreetly) at Holtzmann. Her brows were furrowed, and Abby's guts knotted with a bit of guilt and worry.

"Are you sure it's fine for you guys to stay here for the weekend?" she asked, tentatively.

"Well, we don't have a choice do we?"

Holtzmann frowned at Erin's biting answer and turned to look at her, hurt in her eyes. Erin softened at that.

"I mean, it's fine, really. I'm sorry, the heat is making me grumpy." She smiled reassuringly.

Holtzmann seemed satisfied by the answer and turned back to the TV, but Abby had known Erin for too long not to notice something was wrong. Erin's smile didn't reach her eyes, and she couldn't seem to stop twisting her fingers around the drawstrings of her hoodie ; she used to do that a lot back in college right before an exam.

Patty shared a look with Abby before getting up and asking for Holtzmann to show her what new gadgets she was working on back in her lab. The engineer eagerly got up and walked to the stairs, followed by Patty, leaving Abby and Erin alone.

“Hey.” Abby gently broke the silence and went to sit next to Erin. “If you really don’t want to stay here, I can always insist on Kevin coming back for the weekend.”

Erin was silently looking at her hands on her lap, but she eventually answered:

“Holtz and Kevin alone in here... that’d be a good way for New York to get blown up.”

Abby snickered at that, making Erin smile in the process. She gently elbowed her friend. 

“You got a point. I’m sorry if Patty and I are putting you in an uncomfortable position.”

“Really, it’s fine.”

Abby was unconvinced. “Erin, what’s going on really?”

Erin groaned before putting her head into her hands. “Just… stupid hormones. It’s probably just the heat. It’s nothing.”

“What if it’s not just nothing?”

“I really don’t want to think about it. It has to be nothing. We are colleagues, and friends, and… anyway we’ve been alone together before it’s not a big dea- wait, wait.” Erin looked up at Abby, “You know about… y’know?”

“Gilbert, the shade of red on your cheeks whenever Holtz is around these days can be seen from… wherever that is.” Abby pointed at the TV screen displaying a far-away galaxy, with a terrible CGI alien spaceship orbiting around it.

“Oh, god.” Erin laid down in a fetal position, hugging her legs. “I hope she didn’t notice. I have to get my shit together, I just have to.”

“She seems pretty oblivious.”

“Good, let’s keep it that way until whatever this is,” she awkwardly gestured to her entire body “goes away.”

Abby patted her on the thigh, not wanting to push it more than she already had. “For what it’s worth,” she still added, “I personally wouldn’t care if something happened between you guys. You are both professionals, and my best friends. You could handle it.”

Erin smiled sadly. “Thanks Abs. But I really can’t let this happen. Like you said, I’m a professional.”

Abby gave her an understanding nod, before mockingly muttering “Professionalism didn’t seem to be an issue when Kevin was involved.”

Erin kicked her in the ribs.

 

_

 

“... and this is pretty much all I have to show you, my love.”

“Holtz, this is a crossbow. With tiny anti-ghost grenades at the tip of the arrows.”

The engineer nodded smugly, visibly proud of herself. Patty sighed.  
“You truly are crazy.”

“Thank you.” Holtzmann gave a dramatic bow.

After a moment chatting around the lab (and enjoying some cold air from the five fans cooling the machines around them), Patty’s voice grew serious.

“Hey, be nice to Erin when we’re gone, ‘kay? The girl obviously needs some space and like, some peace and quiet.”

“She seems like she does, doesn’t she?”

The genuinely curious and caring tone of the engineer caught Patty off guard. Not that Holtzmann wasn’t a caring person, but she just expected a absentminded nod, or a deflection. She didn’t expect to see her friend’s features soften so quickly at her comment, and to see worry shine in her eyes.

“Yeah. I’m sure it’s nothing.” she reassured the blonde. “Just, y’know, this heat is kind of tiring for everyone.”

“The heat, uh...” Holtzmann’s face was pensive now. She distractedly made her way back upstairs, Patty on her trail was shaking her head with a smile. 

 

_

 

When the two women entered the living room again, Erin was still laying on the couch. Holtzmann immediately went to crouch by her side.

“Feeling all right there, Gilbert?” Her tone was soft. “We can go buy some more fans tomorrow, or I can always try to build a super-fan with what I got down in the lab. I’ve never tried to do that before, but I’m always up for a challenge.”

She kept on rambling, making extravagant hand movements and making Erin softly giggle in the process. The physicist didn’t feel weird, or embarrassed, much to her relief. _“I can do this.”_ She thought. _“It’s going to be okay.”_

Abby, who joined Patty by the stairway, whispered to her: “They are going to be okay.”

Patty nodded, drawing out her phone and snapping a picture of the rambling engineer and smiling red head before excusing herself for the weekend. She went downstairs to collect her things. Abby also said her goodnights and goodbyes, nodding reassuringly at Erin who softly smiled and nodded back at her in a quiet understanding. Soon her and Holtzmann were alone in the fire station. She turned to the blonde, who was now shuffling around under the coffee table and drew out a deck of cards.

“Wanna play?” she smiled at Erin who smiled back before sitting up.

 _“It’s going to be okay.”_ She repeated to herself, observing the blonde.

Holtzmann was distributing their cards, excitedly talking about her ideas for a homemade fan again. Her dimples complimented the way her eyes shone with passion for her craft in an endearing way.

_“It’s going to be okay.”_

Her fingers were steady and trained, flicking cards away in a swift motion. She stopped to wipe newly formed sweat from her forehead with her bicep and resumed her distributing. Everything seemed to be slowed-down, Holtzmann’s deep voice like flowing music to Erin’s ears. The physicist squirmed, the warmth was back in her chest, making her palms more sweaty than they already were.

_“It’s not going to be okay.”_

 

_

 

The card game was cut short (much to Erin’s relief) by a particularly high-pitched alarm coming from Holtzmann’s lab. The blonde had rushed downstairs and had been gone for a good 30 minutes now, and Erin was starting to get worried. After cleaning-up the dinner table, she finally called out to the engineer asking if everything was alright. Receiving no response, she walked down to the lab, but crashed into a running (and shirtless?!) Holtzmann halfway through the stairs.

“Ow, jeez. Holtz… what’s happen-”

“Please don’t hate me.” The engineer pleaded, before gently grabbing Erin’s shoulders to move her out of her way and resuming her running upstairs.

“Wh- what? Why would-?” Erin didn’t get to finish her question, Holtzmann was already rushing back down… with the newly fixed fan in her arms.

“The tech really doesn’t like the heat.” Holtz yelled from her spot in the lab. She rapidly plugged-in the fan and angled it towards one of her gigantic devices. The room, Erin noticed when she stepped inside, was positively boiling. The air around the device Holtz was trying to cool down was blurred by the heat emitting from it. Holtzmann’s skin, glistening with sweat, started to redden. 

“You’ve been in this heat for the past half hour?!” Erin’s concerned voice could barely be heard over the loud humming of the machines around her. “Come here! Come down!” She called from the stairs. Holtzmann followed her to the first floor.

“Here.” The physicist had rushed to the sink in the the small toilet compartment they had in the office to get a glass of water. The engineer downed it in a blink, and Erin went to pour her another, rambling in the process.

“That’s it, I’m getting more fans. Or ice. Or… anything. Right now.”

Holtzmann, still slightly out of breath, glanced at the wall clock before speaking. “It’s almost 11pm, I’m not letting you go roaming the streets alone at this time. I’m coming with you. I know a place that should still be open.”

Erin hesitated before agreeing, on the one condition that Holtz had to sit down and catch her breath first. “Oh and also, maybe put a shirt on before going outside”, she added after realizing that the blonde was still only in her bra. Her worry made her overlook that detail, but now that all of Holtzmann’s skin was coming back to its usual color, all she could see was, well, _all of Holtzmann’s skin._

The engineer chuckled before grabbing one of Erin’s light cotton shirts in the clothes pile sitting on the front desk. “Damn, we really need to clean up this place”, briefly crossed Erin’s mind before Holtzmann’s voice grabbed her attention back; her voice, and fingers poking her on the cheek.

“You’re a little bit flushed there, Gilbert. Maybe get some water too before we go.”

Erin didn’t perceive any teasing in the blonde’s tone, the slight worry she found there instead made her heart hum. Holtzmann’s fingers lingered on her face, and her heart didn’t hum anymore. It pounded. She swallowed before stuttering:

“I- I, uhm. I will. Thank you.”

Holtzmann’s eyes were observing her, calculating, her mind clearly drifting, taking her to another place entirely. All of the sudden, she snapped out of it, fingers drawn back to her side, smile back on her face. 

“Good” came the simple answer before she left for the bathroom to pour Erin a glass. The cup didn’t make it back to Erin right away, though, as the physicist noticed Holtzmann dumping its contents onto her face before filling it once more like nothing had happened. Erin frowned. 

“You okay there?” she asked.

“Juuuuuust peachy,” the engineer mumbled, barely pausing to hand Erin the glass before making a beeline for the door. “Let’s get those fans.” were her last words before hurriedly rushing out of the station.

 _“Well, that was weird… even for her.”_ were Erin’s last thoughts before downing her water and following her outside, locking the door behind herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holtzy u useless gay
> 
> Art for this chapter: http://toodrunktofindaurl.tumblr.com/post/150706375851/youre-a-little-bit-flushed-there-gilbert


	4. Candles and Nightlights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The blackout is here and everything gets confusing. Time to get into Holtz's head.
> 
> Thank you guys for always leaving such sweet and funny comments!  
> The slow-burn isn't going to be so slow from now on, so brace yourselves..  
> ..The Gay is coming.  
> Enjoy :)

It was nearly midnight when Erin and Holtzmann came back to the fire station. Each woman was carrying two newly purchased fans in their arms, and they both looked completely exhausted; hair messy and sticking to their faces. Turns out the outdoors were somehow more humid and warmer than the inside of their HQ (even with their lack of A/C). If the shirt Holtzmann had put on before going out was clean and dry, it wasn't anymore. 

The scientists were out of breath, and after struggling to open the front door from lack of decent lightning (they had left their phones to charge inside, leaving Erin having to find the keyhole with the help of only the street lamps), they stepped in and immediately settled down. Erin sat on Kevin's desk and Holtz sprawled on the floor; both were panting and motionless for a few minutes before Erin walked to the sink to get a drink. Holtzmann was still laying on the floor, arms and legs spread in a dramatic star shape.

"I'm never moving again. The ground is my home now."

"Come on, don't be a baby. You have to cool down your machines before they blow up the whole city; go install your fans." Erin reprimanded, stepping over her friend's body and picking up her own purchases. "I'm going to put these two in the living-room."

She took the stairs, and Holtzmann begrudgingly followed. 

Fifteen minutes later, the engineer stepped into the living room and found Erin asleep on the couch, three fans of different sizes directed at her body. She was laying on her back and her head was resting on a pillow. Her legs were spread, left one on the couch, right one dropping towards the ground as well as her right arm. She was a breeze away from rolling over and falling on the rug.  
Holtzmann smiled before gently raising Erin's dangling leg to put it back on the couch, and felt a pang of guilt when Erin grunted and opened her eyes at the gesture.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

The physicist mumbled an "It's fine, I was just resting my eyes" before sitting up. Holtzmann shook her head slightly.

"You can take the fans to the bedroom, I'm going to be working in the lab for a few more hours now that the air is breathable there. I'll crash on the couch when I'm done."

"No no no, you should get some rest, too. Today has been long and tomorrow will be even longer. You can work then, to pass the time." Erin's voice was strained with exhaustion.

"Nah, really, I'm not even that tir-"

Suddenly, anything that had been white noise in the background, like the humming of the fans and the small buzzing of their old lights, ceased and left a deafening silence in their place. Then everything went dark. The sounds of the city were all put on mute for a millisecond, before honkings and what sounded like a car crash and car's anti-theft alarm could be heard faintly from the streets.

"Wow." Erin had jumped in surprise and grabbed her phone for light before immediately going to the window to assess the situation. The whole street was completely dark, save for the glowing of a few passerby's cell phones. She then ran to the roof only to be met by the giant shadows of buildings in the skyline, the city's only source of light coming from the moon. Panicking voices started to rise around her, a child crying, people arguing, another crash, more honking, more alarms. Feeling overwhelmed by the obscurity, Erin carefully walked back to the living room.

"It's a city-wide blackout," she informed Holtzmann after stepping back in the room "The entire city has gone dark." 

Holtzmann stayed silent. Erin noticed that she hadn't moved from her spot on the couch, so she shone the light of her phone on her friend. Her body was visibly tense, her arms straight and rigid at her sides, hands clawing at the cushions of the couch. Her eyes were closed and her head was bobbing back and forth ever so slightly as a clear sign of a deep breathing. An alarm went off in Erin's head. 

"Holtz?! Are you okay?" She sat down next to the blonde, not touching her just in case it made things worse, but she noted that her breathing although deep wasn't fast or raspy. She tentatively asked "Are you... like, afraid of the dark?"

"Well," Holtzmann's voice croaked "I'm not afraid of the dark itself per-se, let's just say I don't particularly appreciate being deprived of my sight."

"And closing your eyes helps?" Erin's question wasn't a mockery, she was genuinely curious and her voice was encouraging. Her hand found Holtzmann's shoulder.

"It makes it okay. That way I'm the one choosing not to see, it's not being imposed on me. It's bad logic, but it tricks my brain into thinking it's less of a- a threat, so..."

"I see... Well, tell your brain I have a light on my phone, and you can open your eyes safely." Erin's voice was soft. She rubbed the engineer's arm reassuringly and put her cellphone on the coffee table. "It's okay."

Holtzmann slowly opened her eyes and un-clenched her grip on the couch before letting out a relieved sigh at the sight of the flashlight coming out of the device.

"Thank you." 

The engineer had the littlest voice Erin has ever heard coming from her, and a small wave of sadness made her heart clench at the sound of it. "No problem. Let me get Patty's candles and Abby's Christmas lights from the bedroom." She got up to do just that and grabbed Holtz's phone from under the coffee table for light, before stopping right at the bedroom door. "Those Christmas lights work with batteries, right?"

Holtzmann nodded, anticipating the next question and managing to answer with a still trembling voice:

"Batteries are in the second drawer of Kevin's desk. I have a small stack in my lab, too, but I wouldn't go there in the dark unless you want to risk stepping on a anti-ghost-mine or a nuclear reactor." She paused and mumbled, "you will also find a small night light under the bed."

"Kevin's desk will do. I'll get the nightlight, just give me a few minutes, it'll be fine." Erin saw Holtzmann stiffly nod in acknowledgment, the sight making her feel desperate to bring the engineer's usual smile back on her face.

She proceeded to gather lights and batteries as fast as she could, tripping on one step of the stairs and walking into two walls in the process. Holtzmann heard a small crash and a loud "OW" followed by a rather long list of insults targeted at a desk all the way from the first floor. That and Erin's urgency to make the engineer feel safer managed to make her smile. She was still smiling when Erin came back in the living room, batteries in hand and rubbing a spot on her thigh.  
  
  
_  
  
  
Holtzmann was laying on the bedroom's only mattress that Erin had dragged into the living room and put right by the couch; the coffee table had been pushed aside. The physicist had been restlessly trying to make her friend feel better for the last half hour. A few candles were burning on the coffee table and another few on the table by the window, yellow Christmas lights were messily sprawled on the armchair and the back of the couch. Another wreath of them was on the floor on the other side of the mattress where the two battery-operated fans Erin bought earlier were blowing cold air on Holtzmann's body. Batteries, two flashlights, various snacks and a pack of water bottles were stacked in a corner.

The engineer was laying in silence, one arm under her head, eyeing the candles' flickering lights shining on the ceiling. Her other hand played with her not-so-secret-anymore small and round nightlight, rolling it in her fingers. Erin had disappeared on the roof once more, the phone lines so busy that she had to climb up to get a better chance at being able to call anyone.

Holtzmann had rarely seen her friend so determined for something that didn't concern science or busts. Sleepiness seemed to have evaporated from Erin's body entirely when she realized something was wrong with Holtzmann, and that thought made the engineer's heart skip a beat. 

She turned on her side, trying to mute her thoughts, but the memory of Erin's reassuring tone and hands on her kept creeping back. She turned over again. _Erin rambling about scented candles smelling way too strong and slightly burning her thumb while trying to light them and then proceeding to insult the waxy objects, thumb in her mouth._ Holtzmann turned on her back once more, putting an arm on her eyes, her glasses long forgotten on the floor. _Erin telling her it was okay, and that she was safe as many times as she had to until Holtz's muscles finally relaxed. Erin smiling at her. Erin. Erin. Erin._

Holtzmann abruptly sat up and pinched her nose. 

Well, this just wasn't good. 

  
  


_

  
  


"I couldn't reach anyone," Erin sat on the couch, defeat in her voice "Abby and Patty's phones were ringing meaning the service was working, so I'm assuming they are asleep. It's," she looked at her phone's clock "1:12AM, after all. I'm just going to save up my battery, I guess. How are you feeling?"

"Like I'm stuck in the Devil's asshole." Holtzmann deadpanned and met the eyes of a very confused Erin. She smirked before clarifying, "I'm hot."

"Yeah." Erin sighed.

"Yeah?" Holtzmann's eyes went wide and her eyebrows shot up, still smirking.

"I mean- I mean, yeah, I get that. We lost our biggest fan to this blackout. Well, you're using the others for your insane gadgets. So, it's hot. You're hot. That makes sense. That's what I meant. I'm hot, too."

"Yeah." The engineer's eyes were still locked on Erin, her grin had not left her face.

Erin coughed (and blushed) at the blonde purposefully mirroring her previous answer. She crossed her legs before uncrossing them and then crossing them again, fiddling on the couch before finally finding her voice again.

"Well I'm glad you got your terrible sense of humor back." She tried to sound irritated but was genuinely relieved to see that Holtzmann was feeling better. She then mumbled something about taking a shower (cold of course, with no power there's not much of a choice), took a flashlight a left for the bathroom.

"Wasn't a joke." Holtzmann murmured to herself, pensively rolling her nightlight around on the mattress, like a cat would play with a ball of yarn.

"Did you say something?" Erin called from the door frame, startling the blonde who nearly threw the round light away in a spasm.

"Nope. Nothing. Nada." 

"... Alright. See you in a bit." Erin closed the bathroom door behind her.

Holtzmann stayed still for a few minutes, waiting for her heartbeat to slow down. She eventually got up, took the remaining flashlight and headed to her lab to check if the small back-up generator for her equipment was working okay.  
  
  
_  
  
  
"3AM" shone on the clock of Holtzmann's phone in the darkness of the second floor. She sighed, thinking she would have to go back up eventually and let go of the anti-ghost arrow she was working on. Or... she could sleep here. On the floor, with her flashlight. The thought seemed appealing for a few seconds before the stiffness of her muscles and a yawn ruined it. She had to go back; avoiding Erin simply wasn't possible anyway. Or... she could move out of the country. That'd do it! She shook her head.  
The emotions she felt when Erin was around weren't new, per-se. But those emotions had never felt so heavy before. She’d never felt like she had to act on them or speak of them to feel like breathing again. Erin had always made her heart smile and her chest feel light. Never before had her presence made her hands shaky and her throat knot in a twisted enjoyable way. Not knowing why or what had changed was maddening and frustrating and too much and not enough at the same time; she felt an overwhelming sense of panic but a profound calmness the more she kept thinking about the physicist. Everything was just so damned confusing.

But she couldn't do anything. No, no no, that wasn't even an option. She had found a family, Erin was Abby's best friend and she couldn't screw this up. She wouldn't screw this up. She would just have to get over it, just block it out, forget it. Holtzmann breathed deeply and closed her eyes before getting up. 

Once in the living room, she was met once again by Erin laying on the couch, back facing the mattress on the floor and wearing nothing but a bra and a cotton panty. One of the fans had been angled towards her resting form and a towel was in a ball at her feet. Holtzmann couldn't see her face, but had it not been for Erin's quiet voice breaking the room’s silence, she would have sworn the redhead was asleep.

"You okay?" Erin didn't turn to look at her.

"Yeah. Just going to sleep, and you should too."

"Mmh, was just waiting to see if y'were okay." Erin's voice was so small and sleepy, Holtzmann let out the faintest gasp, her heart melting. "G'night Holtz."

"Good night." Holtzmann turned her own fan towards herself, stripped off her shirt and pants, blew out the candles and turned off her flashlight. She grabbed her nightlight, laid down on the mattress and looked at the round object comfortably fitting in the palm of her hand, casting a glow so faint it was insignificant compared to the light coming from the Christmas decorations around her. Still, she kept her eyes on it, a familiar and soothing habit to keep the darkness at bay. "Sweet dreams", she murmured, eyelids too heavy to stay open now. She drifted into slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> teeny tiny Holtz so gay and confused  
> ...  
> same, honestly
> 
> Art for this chapter: http://toodrunktofindaurl.tumblr.com/post/150796444636/illustration-for-blackout-chapter-4-candles-and


	5. Equations and Cold Showers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the rating's gone up. That's a thing that happened.  
> Remember when I said I was a sucker for sexual tension and all the tropes that came with it?  
> This is the Tropiest (And Longest) Chapter™ and I have absolutely no shame
> 
> Alex (askboxangel), my lovely beta, told me to tell you all that I'm an asshole.  
> She requested I added this in the notes, and I'm a woman of my word.
> 
> Anyway, Holtzbert is canon (fight me) and I'm still recovering from all those additional scenes,  
> sorry for not updating sooner and not having art ready for this chapter yet! I'll get on it tomorrow.
> 
> Enjoy!

Warmth. Warmth woke up Holtzmann from her rather short night, which shouldn’t have been that big of a surprise considering the suffocating heat that has been plaguing the station for days. But this wasn’t heat. It was warmth. As in, soft. And a faint scent of coconut shampoo. As in, not her own shampoo. Warmth plus shampoo plus a cramp in her left arm? Holtzmann’s eyes shot open.

Erin must have rolled over from her spot in her sleep, because she was now very much not on the couch and very much on Holtzmann’s mattress. Well, not entirely on the mattress. Erin’s head was weighing on the engineer’s chest and her front was pressed against her side, her naked stomach warm against the blonde’s waist and her left leg bent and heavy over her thighs. The physicist’s left arm was limp on Holtz’s belly. 

Holtzmann’s eyes were wide, looking straight at the ceiling, and her eyebrows were high in incredulousness. _Nope. No. No no no no._

 _“Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up…”_ was the only thought in her head. Because that couldn’t be real. She was still asleep. She was having the most realistic, heavenly nightmare.

Erin whimpered and sighed in her sleep, deep enough for Holtz to feel a hot breath on her clavicle. The physicist wriggled every so slightly before settling and sighing once more with a light snore. The warm jolt the blonde felt in her stomach and the tingles in her temples and chest shot her “it’s just a dream” theory right in the foot. She gasped before clenching her teeth to silence herself. The last thing she needed was for Erin to wake up.

She had two options. Option one: Go back to sleep, let Erin wake up first and get out of the bed embarrassed, then wake up, feigning ignorance, moments later. Option 2: Try to disentangle herself from the redhead without waking her up. 

Erin’s lower body pressed further into Holtzmann’s, making the blonde open and close her mouth in surprise, gasping like a fish out of the water. Option two was definitely not an option anymore. But option one? Holtzmann wasn’t sure that she would survive it. Not only because of the tormentingly hot knot low in her stomach getting tighter by the second, but also because of the tormentingly hot… everything. The heat was barely livable before, but with a body pressed against her and her hormones going haywire on top of it, she was pretty sure she looked like a puddle of sweat right now. Just the thought of a cold shower almost made her moan.

And for a moment she was scared she did, but the sound didn’t come from her. Holtzmann’s brain caught on fast.

_“Oh no no no no. Don’t you dare, Gilbert. Don’t you pull the ‘I’m having a sex dream on top of you’ card right now like some kind of bad smutty Harlequin book or I swear to lady Jesus-”_

Another moan and Erin adjusting herself cut off her train of thought and the engineer had to draw her only free hand to her mouth and bite it to avoid making the same noise as her sleeping tormenter.

_“No no no no no no no-”_

“Yes...” the physicist voice was oh-so quiet and raspy.

_“NO NO NO NO NO NO NO-”_

“Holtz…” Erin whimpered like a prayer, slightly louder.

Holtzmann’s brain short-circuited and she abruptly entangled herself from Erin and leapt on her feet in a millisecond, waking up a very disoriented redhead who flopped back on the mattress.

“What the f-?”

“Sorry Gilbert, you just- just fell. On me. Right now right this instant, you fell and it woke me up. And made me jump. I’m a jumpy person. When I get woken up. Which I just was at this very second. By you. But no hard feelings, at least now I’m up. And since I’m up, I’m going to take a shower. A really long one. Bye. I mean, good morning.” 

Holtzmann kept on rambling with the fakest smile on her face while walking backwards to the bathroom. She hit the side of the armchair and almost tripped, then paused while steadying herself to look at Erin’s furrowed brows and confused face, before adding a second “Bye.” and promptly running to the bathroom, almost slamming the door after her.

 

_

 

Holtzmann stripped out of her underwear and jumped in the small shower in the same motion, sliding slightly on the slippery floor and catching herself from falling. She stumbled with the water faucet for a few seconds in her hurry to feel the cold water pour on her head, and when it did, she just… screamed. Not the high-pitched, scared or pained scream. The loud, deep, primal, ridiculous scream one lets out to get things out of their system. 

 

_

 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH”

Erin jumped, still confused and now a bit worried and kind of scared at the scream coming from the bathroom.

“HOLTZMANN, ARE YOU OKAY?!” she yelled over the blonde’s manic hollering.

The screaming stopped. A pause.

“YEAH, THE COLD WATER JUST STARTLED ME.” came the loud answer from the other side of the door.

Erin’s face was still distorted in confusion, mouth slightly opened and brows furrowed. She took in her surroundings and found her phone on the floor, unlocking it to check the time. 9:27AM, tons of notifications, three messages from Patty and one missed call, fourteen messages from Abby and four missed calls. Erin snorted. Abby was a serial texter, she must have picked the habit from Holtzmann in all their years working together, Erin thought. Holtzmann’s texting was messy and short and fast, she would always send five texts just to say one little thing. Erin smiled, shook her head, and opened her messages.

 

[Patty, 7:36AM]: Worst morning ever. My uncle called at 6AM sharp to check if I was awake & when I went to take a shower the water was FREEZING and now my toaster isn’t working?? Anyway, hope this morning isn’t as shitty for u and Holtzy

[Patty 7:39AM]: MY TV BROKE TOO??? ? IT’S NOT TURNING ON

[Patty, 7:47AM]: Blackout. Got it. It somehow makes me feel better even tho now my fridge smells. At least my TV is ok. It’s mayhem outside and my uncle is on my ass but if you two really need backup, lemme know. Xo

 

Most of Abby’s texts could be summarized by “If you need me I will be there ASAP” and asking if Erin was okay. Her two last messages read:

 

[Abby, 8:02AM]: Hope Holtzy handled the blackout fine, she doesn’t really likes the dark. She works late so she was probably awake when it happened, right? Just make sure to keep an eye on her. Her nightlight is under the bed, and if she asks, I didn’t tell you anything. 

[Abby, 8:03AM]: Also FYI the couch is off limits if you two end up banging. K call me back

 

Erin blushed and scoffed at her phone, pretending to be offended, before locking it and throwing it on the couch’s cushions. She got up and headed to the office floor to make some much-needed coffee. Abby could wait. 

On her way downstairs, she thought back to her friend’s text about Holtz. Abby knew about the engineer’s fear of the dark. It shouldn’t be bothering her as much as it did. She wasn’t jealous of Abby and Holtzmann’s closeness, but rather envious of the fact that Abby had the time to get to know her that well. It was a sad and melancholic kind of envy, making her wonder if she would ever be the person Holtzmann could confide in, or come to in a time of trouble.

Well, she knew things about her, bits and bobs the blonde would slip into casual conversations, but they never really had Talks. In a year of knowing each other, they never truly sat down and shared stories for hours and hours and hours until the time seemed to stop. Stories that make friends see each other in a whole new light. Stories that make friends understand more about each other. Stories that make friends more than friends once you’ve heard them. They’ve been alone, they’ve talked, but they’ve never shared those stories.

 _“Why does it bother me so much now? Well, I know why. But... WHY?”_ Erin’s frustration showed on her face and her thoughts were cut short the instant she picked up the coffee pot and remembered that there wasn’t any electricity to make it work. She threw her head back in defeat with a groan. She pondered if getting dressed to go out and get caffeine was worth it, briefly entertaining the thought of only putting on a trench coat and boots, before shaking her head at the ridiculous idea. 

She weighed her options. Going outside to walk in an impossible heat to get two cups of coffee; or going back up there, getting some work done in the same impossible heat, and dying of embarrassment the minute Holtzmann gets out of the shower because her hormones apparently couldn’t leave her alone even in her sleep.

Erin put her face in her hands, cheeks burning at the memory of her latest dream, and feeling betrayed by her own brain for the memory and the dream itself. She didn’t remember most of it, but what she did remember was enough to send a small wave of heat rolling down her body. Skin against skin, blue eyes and blonde curls, fingers trailing down stomachs and open mouthed kisses. Erin cleared her throat, briefly wondering if she should obey her instincts and release the tension that had built between her legs since she woke up, before closing her eyes and blushing deeper in embarrassment. No. Not with Holtzmann in the same building. It would be weird, and disrespectful and unprofessional. This was their workplace, after all. She would just have to suck it up. 

The physicist sighed and went back up to grab some of her books and a fan, and came back down to the office before sitting at the desk that wasn’t Kevin’s. It was bigger and situated further down in the room against a wall, some small cupboard and bookshelves stuffed with paperwork, plants and various decorations were separating the waiting room from it. It was Abby and Erin’s official office, but they found themselves working in the living room in Patty’s company more often than at this desk. Working here would give her some time before Holtz came looking for her, she reasoned. Pen in hand, she opened one of her volumes as well as her notebook and went to work, trying to clear her mind of dimples and blue eyes.

 

_

 

As it turned out, Holtzmann didn’t come looking for Erin for a good 3 hours. The engineer eventually came down the stairs to put back a toolbox in the garage. She was wearing nothing but overalls over her grey bra, her hair was up and her big yellow goggles were sitting on her head. Erin looked up at the sound of clanking tools.

“Oh, hi. Morning.” she greeted as casually as she could.

“Morning again! Sorry to disturb you, I’m just going to the garage!” Holtzmann answered, lifting the toolbox up to Erin’s line of sight, her usual joyfulness back.

“You didn’t disturb me… But what were you doing earlier? I heard a lot of noise.” Erin crossed her arms and rested her elbows on the desk.

“Oh, I moved the small fridge/freezer of the living room into the lab to plug it to my independent generator, so we can still enjoy some popsicles!” Holtzmann smiled. “I will put it back the second this blackout is over, I swear.” she hurriedly added, seeing the scowl on Erin’s face.

“It’s.. fine, it’s fine... good call...” The physicist answered absentmindedly, then smiled reassuringly after realizing she’s been staring at the blonde.

Holtzmann nodded at her before pointing to the garage door, popping her lips and disappearing behind it. Erin’s head fell on her crossed arms, an exasperated groan coming out of her mouth. She got up and took her notebook to write down some equations on her white board, trying to ignore Holtzmann’s footsteps coming back her way.

“Do you want me to go get us something to eat? Did you already eat?” the blonde’s voice made Erin turn to her in a reflex. The marker in the redhead’s hand made the cringiest squeak on the board as it went off-course, leaving an unfinished number and a wobbly line in its trail. Erin’s ears were burning.

Holtzmann had taken off the top of her overalls, leaving her in only her bra, the dungarees’ suspenders falling lazily on her hips.

“Please put your top back on.” the words were out of Erin’s mouth before she could stop them.

“Wha- why?” Holtzmann chuckled and frowned, slightly taken aback.  
“It’s inappropriate.” Erin turned back to her whiteboard, erasing the embarrassing line she had accidentally made.

“It’s warm as shit,” the engineer laughed some more, walking towards Erin. “Even being naked would be appropriate!”

“Please don’t… say that.” Erin whispered, looking at her feet. She made an awkward hand gesture before adding louder: “Just put something on.”

Holtzmann kept walking in silence before grabbing a marker on the desk and stopping behind Erin. She opened the pen in a loud “pop”, making the redhead jump realizing how close the engineer was.

“Erin.” Holtzmann spoke softly, leaning over Erin’s shoulder, her curls brushing against the physicist’s neck. Erin felt her skin rise and her jaw clench. She inhaled through her nose and closed her eyes. Her thoughts were all over the place and all she could do was stand still.

“What?” she tried her best to sound irritated but the question came out as a strangled sound.

Erin felt an arm brush her own and heard the noise of a marker on the whiteboard. She felt the blonde leaning on her back, breasts faintly touching her shoulder blades. She bit her lower lip, hard, and… waited, trying not to shiver or twitch.

“You do realize that you are only wearing a bra and panties, right? So if we follow your reasoning, that makes you, like, the Inappropriate Queen.” Holtzmann’s full laugh and light tone made Erin open her eyes. The blonde took a step back and threw her pen back on the desk, “also your equation had a mistake. I fixed it.”

Erin looked up at her corrected formula, heart still beating fast enough for her to feel it all the way up her temples,her skin burning. 

Holtzmann grew worried that she had offended her friend, her eyes dropping to Erin’s clenched fists and stiff back.

“Are you alright? I’m sorry if I overstepped my boundaries by writing on your b-”

The engineer stopped right in her tracks when she put her hand on Erin’s shoulder and the physicist let out a very small gasp, her skin burning under Holtzmann’s fingers. Holtz didn’t move for a few seconds, looking intently at Erin’s back, a frown on her face and gears turning at an incredibly high speed in her head. Months of teasing and joking and laughing with her friend went by in her mind. Every smile, every small touch, every small words. And Patty’s words. And the last few days. And this morning, that she thought her sleepy mind had made up. Then it clicked.

Oh.

_Oh._

Well, screw not screwing it up.

 

 

“Erin?” Holtzmann’s voice was strangely small, but lower than usual.

Erin swallowed, refusing to answer and incapable of turning around, her entire body and mind buzzing. _“Just shut up Erin. Don’t say anything, just don’t talk, don’t let her know, she can’t know…”_ Holtzmann’s left hand came to her waist tentatively, her fingertips barely holding her; Erin felt the hand on her shoulder give a light squeeze and her heart stopped. 

_“She knows.”_ Erin’s mind blanked.

“Erin,” She felt Holtzmann’s breath on the back of her neck and her knees almost gave out. The physicist closed her eyes forcefully, biting her lip to prevent herself from speaking, or moaning. 

“Why should I cover up, really?” Holtzmann’s voice was just a whisper at this point, and Erin gasped at the feeling of lips brushing her ear. Her hands shot up to grasp the edge of the whiteboard, where she kept her markers and notes, to steady herself as Holtz’s necklace grazed between her shoulderblades and the fingers on her waist pressed on her skin ever so slightly. Erin felt the engineer’s breasts on her back again. Pens clattered to the floor. Erin tried to concentrate on anything other than Holtzmann’s presence by fear of losing herself completely. Was that music?

“Or should I ask,” The hand on her shoulder shifted to move away strands of hair on her neck below her ear. Holtzmann’s breath on her lobe was as fast and erratic as hers. The music was long forgotten. “Do you want me to cover up?”

“Fuck, no.” Erin thought. Holtzmann gasped and urgent lips kissed Erin’s neck, making her realize that she must have thought out loud. She made herself blush, hearing the strangled and loud moan that escaped her own lips. Holtzmann’s hands grasped her hips, as she kissed her jaw, and just like that they were both gone.

Erin’s right hand messily covered Holtzmann’s on her hip, her head tilting to the side as an invitation to the engineer who wholeheartedly took it. Holtzmann kissed and bit and kissed again and Erin gasped, and whimpered and moaned, her fingers leading the blonde’s hand to her outer thigh. Holtzmann’s hand flattened, her fingers curling on the hot skin. 

Everything was burning, everything was humid and sloppy. Erin’s ponytail was loose and her bangs were sticking to her forehead. Holtzmann’s curls were as messy as ever. The air was warm in their lungs and sweat made everything salty. They found they didn’t care. Erin’s left hand guided Holtz’s other hand, once again, this time trailing up her stomach to stop below her breast. Both their breathing was hoarse and fast. Erin clasped at the hand on her thigh.

“Please.” Erin almost sobbed.

Holtzmann whimpered, her right hand moved oh so slowly to Erin’s inner thigh.

“Say my name.” The engineer’s request was soft and pleading rather than commanding in Erin’s ear, and the redhead did sob, feeling fingers twitching between her legs.

The music. Erin heard it again. Her foggy mind and ringing ears focused back to reality the instant she realized what it was.

“Abby.”

“What?!” Holtzmann’s head shot up, eyes wide open.

“No, no no no no. I mean. No. Abby. My phone. Abby is calling. That’s her ringtone. Did you call her or text her today?!” Erin turned around the engineer’s arms, looking right at her.

Holtzmann shook her head, more than a little confused.

“Oh god. Oh my god, she must be worried sick.” Erin entangled herself from Holtzmann and ran upstairs to pick up her phone.

Holtzmann’s arms were still open, her mouth slightly agape, skin still flushed, eyes looking straight ahead and brows furrowed in confusion. She blinked a few times, incredulous, before taking off her goggles and wiping her forehead with her bicep. She looked at the stairs.

“I’m going to kill you, Abby Yates.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> Art for this chapter: http://toodrunktofindaurl.tumblr.com/post/151083667631/illustration-for-blackout-chapter-5-equations


	6. Bets and Talks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, a new chapter.  
> So sorry for the delay. October is very busy with celebrations with friends and work, and I was sick for a while!  
> I already have Chapter 7 mostly written so you won't have to wait so long to get it!  
> Thank you always to my beta, Alex (askboxangel) putting up with me. ♥

Erin was out of breath when she reached the third floor, because she ran up the stairs or because of something entirely different, she didn't know and didn't stop to think about it. She almost launched herself at the now silent phone stuck in between two couch cushions and sat down, quickly swiping through it.

9 new texts messages, 3 missed calls, 2 voice mails.

 _Oops._ She ran a hand through her hair before pressing Abby's name. The phone barely rang before Abby's voice started yelling at her, asking her if she was okay.

"Abby, hi! Yes! I'm fine! Yes yes yes, Holtzmann is fine too. Ye- No. I know, I'm so, so, so sorry I forgot my phone upstairs and I was busy working and then Holz came in and-"

"You owe me $10!" Patty's muffled but loud voice could be heard coming from behind Abby. Erin cringed and took her phone away from her ear as a loud rustling could be heard at the receiving end of the call. Like the phone was pressed against something. A shirt.

"She said she was working! Not having sex!" Abby answered, oblivious to the fact that pressing her phone against her boobs did not prevent Erin from hearing her conversation with their colleague.

"Well she is obviously not gravely injured or dead, either. So nobody gets the $10 then." 

"ABBY!" Erin finally yelled, a little more than irritated. "Did you guys bet $10 on my death and on me having sex?! I- $10?!" She added, incredulously. Abby cleared her throat.

"You heard that."

"Yes. Yes I did. Listen, I- I really thought you were worried sick. As in, actually scared for a second there. If I had known all you wanted was to win a stupid bet-"

"No no no, Erin. I'm sorry, okay. I was really worried, I swear."

"I just started the bet to relax her, y'know, as a joke!" Patty assured, voice still muffled in the background. "Just check those voicemails she left you. There's lots of screaming, but you can make up half of it... maybe. I had to stop her from walking to the firehouse, and then from calling your Mom and starting plans for your funer- OW!"

Rustling and bickering could be heard on the other line, "she doesn't need to know that!", more rustling, the sound of a pillow hitting something (probably Patty's head) until Abby finally spoke again.

"I'm just glad you're okay. How has Holtz been doing with the whole 'sudden darkness' thing?"

Erin gulped, not at the question but at the subject of said question stepping into the living room, face unreadable, eyes focused on Erin and goggles in hand.

"Um. She's- she's good. She's Fine. Doing fine." Erin stuttered, fidgeting with her phone, switching ears as she tried to avoid the engineer's glare. 

"Everything okay with you two?" Abby didn't seem to notice Erin's mild state of panic. The physicist took a deep breath through her nose as Holtzmann sat next to her. The blonde's eyes were shifting between Erin's face and the phone pressed against her ear.

"Yup, yes. All good. The blackout took us by surprise but Holtz's managed her lab and her machines... good. Good goody good. Everything is good." Holtzmann quirked an eyebrow at the mention of her name. Erin shifted oh-so slightly (and not so discreetly) further away from her on the couch.

"O-kay, but that's not really what I was asking." Abby's voice was laced with suspicion and confusion "I meant, has it been okay with the whole 'you liking her' thin-" 

"Do you want to talk to her?! She is right there. Here!" Erin almost yelped and handed the phone to Holtzmann, before standing up and quickly walking by the window, as far away from the blonde as possible. Holtzmann looked at her with furrowed brows, then at the phone in her hand and finally spoke.

"'Sup Abby? Yeah. Uh-huh, yes. No, Erin took good care of me." Holtzmann turned to observe the physicist whose head shot up upon hearing her name. Holtzmann made sure to keep her eyes on Erin’s, and not on the redhead’s sill half-naked body.  


"So listen, I know you were worried but we are both unharmed and fine, nothing blew up, no ghosts appeared, and you kind of interrupted something so if you don't mind, I'm going to hang up on you now."

Erin's eyes widened.

"Holtzmann!" The physicist half-yelped, half-murmured, indignantly.  


"Love you, talk later, buh-bye." Holtzmann said sweetly before hanging up and dropping the phone on the cushions dramatically, without breaking eye contact with Erin.

 

_

 

Abby looked at her phone, brows furrowed and confused. She turned to Patty after a few seconds, and sighed.

 

"I think I owe you $10."

 

_

 

"Why did you- why?! She was obviously upset. That was uncalled for!" Erin tried her best to sound concerned but her nervousness was piercing through every of her words.

"Abby is fine. We should talk." Holtzmann scrunched her nose upon hearing this sentence coming out of her mouth. She wasn't really the talking type, but Erin was different. They needed to clear things up, going with the flow wasn't gonna do it this time.

Erin cleared her throat and stopped talking, crossing her arms. She sighed and looked at her fidgeting feet on the ground. 

"You're right. Just-" she murmured, "just let me put something on first."

Holtzmann smirked, and eyed her from head to toe. "I don't really mind."

Goosebumps erected on Erin's skin and she could feel her face heating up.

"Yeah, well... I do." At that, she disappeared quickly into the bedroom.

Holtzmann could hear their shared closet open and Erin shuffling around clothes.

"So..." the blonde started, voice raised enough so Erin could hear her. "Are you attracted to me?"

The sound of a dozen coat hangers falling on the floor could be heard, as well as cursing. Holtzmann snorted. "Do you need any help?"

Erin's loud "NO!" made the blonde laugh and snort a second time.

After a few seconds, Erin came out of the bedroom in boyshorts and a tank top reading "One of the boys" on the front. Holtzmann stopped laughing.

The redhead sat on the comforter before crossing her arms.

"What?" She asked, the irritation in her voice masking her nervousness at the blonde's burning eye contact.

"Nothing. It's just... my shirt." She motioned toward Erin's clothes with her chin.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"I just took the first thing I could find, it's not-"

"I know. It's fine."

"Okay, fine."

"Yep."

A tense silence fell on the room, the only noise breaking it was the tired whirring of the fan on the floor. Erin was still sitting, cross-armed, face scrunched up and looking at the ceiling. Holtzmann was sitting on her legs, biting her lips, arm propped up on the back of the couch, her fingers tapping on it. She was looking at her knees, until a sigh from Erin made her look up.  


"We can't do this." Erin sounded stern. And loud. Way too loud. Even though she whispered the words, it was as if she yelled them at Holtzmann's face. The blonde's brows furrowed and she opened her mouth to answer, but Erin kept going.

"We are coworkers. It's not- this wouldn't be professional."

"All in favor of telling professionalism to go screw itself, raise a hand." At her own comment, Holtzmann raised a hand. Erin closed her eyes.

"Holtzmann." She said, determined but softly.

"All right, all right." The blonde let her hand down with the smallest smile. Humor was a defense mechanism. She could feel her heart sinking deeper and deeper into her stomach with each passing second of Erin looking at her with that sorry expression. Her pulse was racing, and not in the fun way. More like it used to race the moment before getting scolded by her foster Mom, or before a crucial exam. She felt trapped.

"It's just... we've worked really hard for all of this" Erin gestured at the room "to be what it is now. We've created an entirely new profession. A new scientific field. We've been dreaming about all of this since we were kids, all of us... well, maybe not Patty... but the point is, we are damn good at what we do." 

Erin's voice cracked. She bit her lips before clearing her throat. Holtzmann prepared herself for the final blow; she knew where this was obviously going and her jaw clenched.

"I don't want to risk ruining any of it just because we- I just- I don't want to risk it." Erin looked right at Holtzmann, who seemed to find the floor very interesting. 

"I hear you."

Erin sighed with relief. "Thank y-"

"I can't make you change your mind, huh?" The blonde asked softly with a sad smile, meeting Erin's eyes. It wasn't a plea, she wouldn't want to force Erin to do something she obviously didn't want to do. It was a genuine question. "I won't push it, I just want to know."

Erin let out the smallest laugh, before answering.  
"No, I- Just ask yourself, is it worth compromising your job over... what, sex?" She blushed at her own words and failed to noticed the sudden hurt on Holtzmann's face as she laughed again.

"No, it's not." The engineer managed to croak out. She and Erin weren't on the same page and it was obvious now. She felt shame creeping up her every thoughts, then regret. She shouldn't have given in in the first place. She had a plan, she was supposed to stick to it, she wasn't supposed to act on whatever she felt for her colleague. _Colleague._ She scoffed.

Erin frowned at the sound.

"Holtz? Listen, I know it's a bit... awkward now" Erin laughed again, awkwardly, making her point, "but we can just forget about it. Blame the heat wave. Move on. Things don't have to change, that's kind of the whole point of-"

"Just answer my first question." 

Holtzmann's stern interruption stopped Erin in her tracks. The blonde looked her right in the eyes, jaw locked and cheeks red, but not in the embarrassed or flustered kind of way. _Was she trying not to cry?_ Erin's face fell in guilt and realization. She opened her mouth to speak, but Holtzmann spoke first.

"Are you attracted to me? At all?"

Erin's mouth closed and opened over and over, her eyes blinked and she looked down before opening her mouth again and Holtzmann caught on the obvious "I'm going to lie" sign.

"Be honest. I said I wouldn't push it, and I stand by that, so you can just... be honest, it won't change a thing. I just need to know." Holtzmann's eyes were pleading. Erin swallowed.

Their moment at the drawing board flashed through the physicist's mind, uninvited and unwanted. Gentle fingers on her skin and whispers in her ears. Lips on her neck and fire coursing through her veins. Did she sob? Erin put her arms around her middle section, protectively. Fragments of her dream from last night and distant but clear memories of every little moment and touch she had shared with Holtzmann for the past few months flew through her brain like an accelerated movie. The tape of her memories stopped abruptly on the last one she could remember. Hot breath behind her ear, and a raspy voice igniting all of her synapses like Christmas lights. _"Say my name"_. Erin gasped and squeezed her legs together before answering with a shaky voice.

"Yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried not to give in to the "Patty and Abby have a bet" trope bUT OH WELL.  
> @People wondering how Erin could run away from Holtzmann just to pick up a phone: in my opinion, and in this story, Abby means the world to Erin and vice-versa. She is her priority.
> 
> Anyway, next chapter is gonna be extra trope-y because I have no shame.
> 
> Art for this chapter: http://toodrunktofindaurl.tumblr.com/post/152401311861/we-need-to-talk-illustration-for-blackout


	7. Rules and Some More Rules

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lookit what's here. It's longer than usual, it's trope-y, and it's very gay.  
> Enjoy!
> 
> (Thank you Alex for all the editing, you're my hero)

Holtzmann swallowed. 

_"Yes."_

Her brain started whirring. Okay, so, Erin was attracted to her. That was... something. Her chest felt a little lighter, but her heart clenched again at the prospect that that might be it. Nothing more. She usually did just fine with "nothing more", but she also rarely felt "something more" for the women she wanted to sleep with. This threw the whole equation off balance, it was a new variable and she didn't know how to handle it. She felt like an high school kid, getting all the answers wrong on a math test even with the help of a calculator. Which was an off-putting feeling for a science genius.

She focused back on the facts. Well, the one fact. Erin was attracted to her, and admitted to it. _Maybe she didn't mean it? Maybe she still lied?_ Holtzmann observed the other woman, legs squeezed shut and hands clenching and unclenching. The sweat on her clavicle and brow was obviously from the heat, but the blush creeping on Erin's cheeks and nose wasn't. Neither was her hitching breath when she realized Holtz was scrutinizing her. _No. She means it._

The engineer smiled. She said she wouldn't push it, and so she wasn't going to. She could do with that knowledge only. She could ask if there was more to Erin's attraction, and immediately thought about how she would answer that question if Erin were to ask her. She wouldn’t be able to. With that in mind, it would be unfair of her to put her friend in that position.

Erin noticed the relieved smile on the blonde's face and relaxed a little. She wasn't sure what just happened, why Holtzmann had seemed so upset. She had an idea, but didn't let herself have the luxury to even consider that possibility. Not after her grand speech about professionalism.  
Her eyes fell to Holtzmann's bust. She was still only in her bra, and Erin thought back to the blonde's joke from earlier. Professionalism should go screw itself. She closed her eyes, and chased the thought away. No. Work. Work, important. Beautiful blue eyes and smooth porcelain skin, irrelevant. She opened her eyes again.

"Now that that's cleared up..." Erin cleared her throat, "can you, please, attach your overalls back?"

Holtzmann's smile turned brighter and she let out a chuckle.

"Yes ma'am. Wouldn't want to distract you from your work." Holtzmann wiggled her eyebrows jokingly, the tone of her voice obviously teasing.

This was fine. Erin could do casual jokes. The cat was out of the bag now, anyway, so might as well keep the situation as light as possible. She scoffed, falsely offended.

"Says the one who dropped a wrench on her foot because I walked through her lab in just a towel that one time” She shot back with a snort.

"Wh- that was weeks ago! You noticed that?!" Holtzmann blushed as she clicked her overalls back to place.

"You aren't as subtle as you think you are." Erin smirked. "Well, I didn't think much of it then but now that I'm... more aware, you were pretty obvious."

"Well I'd like to know how you would handle yourself with me walking around half naked...oh, wait!" Holtzmann let out a mocking gasp "I do know." It was the blonde's turn to smirk, the reference to their "moment" downstairs making Erin turn scarlet and her pulse race.

Holtzmann noticed and swallowed.

Okay, maybe this was too light a situation. They needed-

"We are gonna need rules."

"Let's establish some ground rules."

They spoke together and paused before giggling at how ridiculous they were.

"Okay. Okay, okay, so..." Erin started again.

"No half-nakedness allowed?" Holtzmann cut her off with a smile.

"Yes. Well... actually, with the heat wave, this would be a bit.. I mean, it's pretty hot."

"It really is." The engineer smirked, eyeing her friend's boyshorts. Erin bit her lip and cleared her throat.

"None of that." The redhead gestured at Holtzmann with a finger and added before the blonde could interrupt her, "no... flirty innuendos."

Holtzmann whined, but nodded in acceptance.

"No dancing." Erin kept going.

"What?!"

"When you dance, you do that thing with your hips and it's... not appropriate. For the workplace." Erin was trying to sound and look as professional as she could, but she kept fidgeting and crossing and uncrossing her legs, betraying how flustered she was.

Holtzmann stuck her tongue between her teeth in a cheeky smile, and nodded once more in understanding. Erin mouthed a "don't do that", while looking at her lips. Holtz drew her tongue back and closed her mouth, ridiculously, her eyebrows rising. She nodded again. It was her turn to speak.

"You brush your thumb over your lips a lot when you're concentrating on your work. It's distracting."

Erin put a strand of hair behind her ear, embarrassed. She didn't think anyone would have noticed that little quirk of hers, or would really care about it.

"Alright, I will try to stop doing that."

"No touching." Holtzmann added immediately. She paused before adding "whenever you put your hand on my back when you look over my work, or grasp my arm to get my attention, it..."

"Let me guess, it's distracting?" Erin laughed a little, looking at Holtzmann searching for words. The blonde looked her in the eyes before continuing:

"I was gonna say that it makes my breath hitch and my hands shake, and it's not a good thing when I'm handling nuclear devices."

Erin's laugh died in her throat. "That's fair." She added in a whisper.

They went back and forth like this for a few more minutes, their rules becoming more and more ridiculous as the time passed. "No hair down", "No reading glasses", “No nose scrunching”, "No tight jeans", "No ties", "No speaking French"

"Oh, you like French?" Holtzmann was gloating, and Erin was mortified.

"I just.. I can't understand it even though I've always wanted to, and not knowing what you're saying is... annoying." The physicist stuttered.

"Désolée d'apprendre ça." The blonde's grin widened at the sound of Erin whimpering.

"Stop it!" She pleaded. This wasn't fair. Holtzmann chuckled and threw her hands up in a sign of resignation. "Thank you."

"De rien."

Erin stood up, grabbed a pillow from the couch and hit her friend with it. Holtzmann laughed with a "oof", before really agreeing to stop. Erin sat down next to her.

"You can't laugh." Erin exclaimed, pouting.

"Well now that's just ridiculous."

"It's too... it’s just, it's cute... it’s..,” Erin stuttered before looking up at her colleague. Her eyes wandered to her lips. "It makes me want to kiss you." she said, quietly.

Holtzmann answered with a breathy "Oh...", taken aback. Noticing Erin was still looking at her lips, she licked them reflexively. The readhead swallowed and blinked. The air around them suddenly became very still and made them shiver, despite the heavy warmth.

"So..." Erin started, her eyes painfully drawing themselves back up to look Holtzmann in the eyes. "This isn't really working."

"I don't think it is, no." Holtzmann whimpered, not realizing her fist was clenched so hard on her overalls, her fingers were turning white. 

Erin stood up before hurriedly speaking again.

"Well then, let's just avoid each other. You stay in your lab, I stay in the office. Forever. Until this passes."

"Yes, I see absolutely no flaws in that plan whatsoever." The sarcastic but accepting answer came after the blonde had cleared her throat.

"Okay, good. We will do just that." The redhead's stomach growled. "I'm going to go buy something for us to eat, and then... we will do just that."

"Perfect."

"Yeah."

Erin started walking towards the bedroom again to find some pants to put on, but Holtzmann's voice stopped her in her tracks.

"Can I just say one last thing?"

"Yeah?" Erin didn't look at her.

"You look really hot in my shirt." The blonde's voice was void of playfulness, and low. So, so low.

"Jesus, Holtz..." Erin gasped, closed her eyes for a second, feeling the wave of goosebumps rolling off her spine and erupting everywhere on her skin, and a pang of warmth in her lower stomach. "UGH." She resumed her walking, making a mental note to change her shirt, too.

 

_

 

The day passed with them both sticking to their "plan". Erin had changed into sweatpants and a generic tank top and went out to get food. They ate separately, then Erin stayed downstairs to do her work, and Holtzmann stayed in her lab to do hers. Well, Erin spent most of her time watching YouTube videos and Holtzmann juggled actual work and attempting to make a pringle ring stand with the sheer force of physics (she failed). Neither of them could stay focused on anything remotely science-y for long without the thought of each other crossing their minds eventually. Practicing science unfocused never lead to anything good, and they were pro-fe-ssio-nals.

Erin giggled at her phone screen where a bunch of scientists were losing their minds over an adorable Dumbo Octopus, and absentmindedly checked the time as she felt her eyelids grow heavy. 9:27pm. She grunted. She only saw Holtzmann in passing twice in the last 6 hours, and twice it was incredibly hard to keep her eyes on her screen. The blonde had announced her "intrusion" both times with apologetic justifications (she had tools and books to grab) without looking at Erin. Each time Erin wondered if sticking to the rules and professionalism was such a good idea, and each time she cursed herself mentally for even just entertaining the thought of giving in to whatever was going on between them. She sighed.

She had to go through Holtz's lab to get to bed. She wasn't sure if she was that tired, but a couch and a book instead of a hard desk chair and her phone sounded like heaven right now. She also had to plug her slowly dying phone, and she last saw the portable charging device on one of Holtz's workbenches. With another grunt, she got up, grabbed her flashlight, filled her water bottle and headed upstairs.

Holtzmann wasn't in the laboratory. 

"Holtz?" Erin called tentatively, shining the light around the machines and shelves in the room.

"Living room" came the answer from upstairs.

Oh, right. Despite the blinking lights of the various nuclear devices, the room was pretty dark. The engineer must have left for the living room when the night fell.

"I've got the charger for your phone, if that's what you're looking for." Holtzmann added, a little louder.

"Yes, thank you. I'll be right there."

Once up the stairs, she found the blonde splayed out on her stomach on the mattress, scrolling through her phone (she was pretty sure it was Patty's Instagram page). Her overalls were in a messy ball on the floor, they had been traded for cotton shorts and a loose shirt. Holtzmann didn't turn to look at Erin and just mumbled a "was too dark downstairs, here" before gesturing to what the physicist was looking for, on the arm of the couch.

"Thanks."

"No problem."

Erin put her water bottle down on the floor and laid down on the couch, making herself comfortable with her head on the pillows, plugging in her phone before speaking again.

"You didn't come down to eat anything during the evening, do you want me to grab you something?"

Holtzmann put down her phone and turned to Erin, smiling appreciatively.

"Nah, 'm good. The heat is kind of killing my hunger. I had an entire can of Pringles earlier, though."

Erin scrunched up her nose and got ready to scold her friend for her terrible diet, but was interrupted before she could let out a word.

"Nose scrunching is against the rules." Holtzmann's chin was propped up on the palm of her hand, her elbow on the mattress. She was smiling.

The physicist smiled back and let out a small and exasperated laugh. 

"Sorry." Erin said, amused, before sighing and turning her attention to her phone.

"Have you seen Patty's new Instagram posts?" Holtzmann spoke again.

"Nuh-huh, let me check." And Erin did. She laughed at a picture of Abby, obviously drunk, giving a thumbs up while holding a lit candelabra and wearing an utility belt filled with flashlights of different sizes. Well at least those two were having fun. "Patty must have stayed with Abby after the freak-out we gave her" Erin absentmindedly but guiltily thought as she scrolled down once more. Her breath hitched as the next photo appeared on the screen. Holtzmann noticed, and spoke nonchalantly.

"I like that picture."

The picture in question was from a day earlier, when Holtz was crouched next to Erin who was laying down on the couch. They both had shy smiles and kind eyes. Erin didn't answer for a few seconds, before taping the picture twice and letting her phone down. She turned to face the engineer, who was still looking at her from the mattress on the ground.

"I like it too." She smiled and Holtzmann smiled back. 

A comfortable silence settled in the room. Relieved at the fact that the ambiance wasn't as awkward as she thought it was gonna be, Erin had closed her eyes and started to relax. Her plans of reading before sleeping were completely forgotten, but she still wasn't completely sleepy. She opened her eyes again, and was greeted by the silent sight of her friend rolling her small nightlight in the palm of her hand, focused on it. She smiled, sadly, lost in thought, and broke the silence.

"Is there a particular reason why you don't like the dark? I mean, an origin of some sort?"

The question didn't startle the blonde, but she stopped playing with the round object and turned to Erin, laying her head down on her bent arm.

"Mh, not really, no. If you're expecting a tragic backstory, I'm sorry but you're gonna be disappointed!" she laughed, "I just have this weird... thing. You know how fears considered "childish" are supposed to fade with time?"

Erin nodded, waiting for Holtzmann to go on.

"Well, it did the opposite for me. Basic fears children often experience like fear of the dark, or thunder, or even the monster in the closet or under the bed, and so on... they never really went away. They kind of intensified as I grew up, for no apparent reason." Holtzmann shrugged.

"That's... and sorry if it's insensitive, but it's kind of interesting." Erin was pensive, her eyes were unfocused and her was brow slightly furrowed. Holtzmann smiled fondly.

"You're a nerd." She laughed at the redhead, who immediately shot back:

"Says the nerd."

"Touché." Holtzmann laughed once again and turned to lie on her back, arms under her head.

"That's French and laughing at the same time." Erin pointed out, and made a silly buzzer sound and hand gesture. "Against the rules."

"Oh, come on!" The engineer threw one hand in the air in an amused and exasperate gesture, followed by a giggle. 

Erin couldn't help the grin on her face. They were going to be fine. They could do this. And the instant that thought crossed her mind, her eyes dropped to Holtzmann's rolled up shirt uncovering her waistline, and then wandered to her laughing eyes and her dimples, eventually landing on her smiling lips. Erin's grin fell. Now she was just annoyed. At herself. And she couldn't deal with any of it right now. She turned her back to Holtzmann and mumbled a pathetic "Goodnight."

The blonde frowned, having observed the scene unfold before her eyes. Erin's mirth replaced by annoyance, her shoulders stiff when they were so relaxed a minute earlier... Holtzmann was thinking. Did she do something? Did she push? She said she wouldn't push. Shit. Maybe she didn't do anything, maybe Erin was just tired. Yes, that could be it. The gears in her brain kept spinning and spinning for a while, until a new variable seemed to add itself to the Erin Gilbert equation. It was vague, and dangerous, and probably just wishful thinking. Holtzmann's eyes started to droop. Hope was dangerous, denial was even worse. But maybe, just maybe, Erin felt a "something more", too. With this last blurry thought, Holtzmann succumbed to slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erin is the embodiment of the "this is fine" meme.  
> Holtz is a smarty pants and pretty good at reading signs. I don't want this story to be sad.  
> I don't know if that thing about childish fears has a word, but I can guarantee you that it's real, 'cause, well, I have it and my Mom does too.
> 
> I'm a sucker for the "rules" trope so, there, you got that too  
> *checks one more item off of the trope list*
> 
> I know Holtz speaking another language and Erin being like *sweats* for it is a big fandom thing to do, but really... I'm French and just wanted to put some in there somewhere. And so I dit. To anyone curious:
> 
> "Désolée d'apprendre ça" : Sorry to hear/learn that  
> "De rien" : You're welcome
> 
> Art for this chapter: http://toodrunktofindaurl.tumblr.com/post/152671984326/its-distracting-illustration-for-blackout


	8. Phones Calls and Denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI HELLO IT'S BEEN A WHILE AND I'M VERY SORRY.  
> I come bearing gifts, tho. Aka a new chapter.
> 
> Thank you Alex (askboxangel) for being the best beta in the world ♥
> 
> Enjoy!

Erin woke up with a mission. Well, two missions exactly.

First, get coffee, because she unintentionally woke up at 6am and didn't fall asleep long after Holtzmann did last night. She couldn't go back to sleep thanks to her brain buzzing with ideas for a new ghost containment system, as well as thoughts of the blonde engineer. As adorable as Holtzmann was right now, cuddling one of her pillows and lightly snoring, Erin was not going to spend her morning wistfully looking at her until she woke up. She had this thought about fifteen minutes ago, it was now 6:28am and her eyes were focused on blonde locks and dimples. She groaned, annoyed with herself before drawing her eyes back to anything that wasn't her sleeping colleague.

Then there was her second, and quickly getting old, mission: Avoiding Holtzmann. She could call Abby or Patty and ask them to come over now that the weekend was ending, and just go back to her own place. The idea sounded good until she pictured Holtzmann's confused and hurt face upon learning that Erin left her. 

"She is smart" she thought, "she would know right away that I wanted to get away from her, but could very easily take this the wrong way. I don't want her to take this the wrong way. Maybe if I left a note?". Erin rubbed her eyes.

She wanted to get away from Holtzmann but didn't want to at the same time. An heavy feeling of boredom and sadness hit her at the very thought of being home alone, not hearing the engineer's brouhaha in her lab or even just not being able to smell her shampoo in the air. She scrunched up her nose in exasperation, this was getting ridiculous.

The physicist stood up to put on a pair of jeans. She had realized that the air was much more breathable and that she didn't wake up with sweat pooling on her thighs or under her breasts. The heat wave was ending, and that alone made her mood a little brighter. The electricity still wasn't back though, she noticed as she tried to switch on the bathroom lights. She shrugged to herself before putting her toothbrush under the water.

She corrected her Missions Of The Day while looking at herself brushing her teeth in the mirror.

First, coffee. Secondly, sucking it up and getting through her last day alone with Holtzmann without acting like a 12 year old in lo-

"Yo."

Holtzmann's sleepy and very unexpected greeting as she entered the bathroom made Erin choke on her toothpaste. She recovered quickly.

"God, you scared me, I'm- hi. Uh, sorry, did I wake you?" she managed to answer in between coughs.

"You were brushing your teeth so aggressively, the ground was shaking."

Erin rolled her eyes before rinsing her mouth and wiping her face. She eventually spoke, leaving the bathroom as Holtzmann pretty obviously needed the toilet, seeing how she was dancing from one foot to the other.

"You can go back to sleep, I'm going out to get some coffee and will stay downstairs to work on a new thing. I won't be up there making noise."

"Nah, it's fine, I got eight hours of sleep. I'm good to go. Could you grab me a coffee too, though? This machine needs some fuel. And by machine, I mean me." Came the chirpy answer from the other side of the door.

"Yeah, sure, of course. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"My angel! Thanks!"

Both sides of the door were suddenly very quiet, Erin's heart fluttering at the innocent nickname, making her freeze in place; and Holtzmann's mind blaring warning alarms as her chest contracted in a panic. The engineer broke the small silence, trying to sound casual.

"Sorry. Slipped out."

"It's fine. See you soon." Erin managed to answer before walking out of the living room.

 

_

 

Holtzmann looked at her own shaken face in the mirror. She was being irrational, really. It's always the case when a person likes another person. Everything you do or say around them seems to scream "I really like you". She knew it wasn't really the case, but her brain would not accept logic at the moment. It never seem to around Erin. She washed her hands and splashed water on her face in the hope of making her groggy eyes open up a little more, and chasing anything Erin related out of her mind. It didn't work.

 

_

 

The morning went by rather slowly for them both. They had tried to stay in the same room, the office, while drinking their coffees, trying to prove to themselves that they could do this without making it awkward. Erin ruined it for the both of them.

 

The physicist had to smack herself mentally any time Holtzmann did pretty much anything, getting more and more annoyed at the fact that everything the blonde did flustered her. It became clearer as the time passed that she indeed didn't see her colleague as her colleague anymore, and the thought unreasonably angered her. How such endearment could turn into such a negative feeling, Erin didn't know (frustration, she guessed) but it lead up to her starting to be rude rather than a stuttering mess. She knew she shouldn't target her annoyance at her friend but she couldn't help it, and she hated herself for it.

Holtzmann's nonchalance and relaxed position made her melt.

"No feet on the table, it's not that hard a rule to remember Holtz. You've been walking around barefoot for days, it's very unsanitary." 

Holtzmann's odd way of holding a book from the top made her sigh in amusement.

"You're going to ruin the cover, can't you even read a book like everyone else?"

Holtzmann taking very small sips of her coffee and licking her lips not to burn herself made her fingers twitch and her throat contract.

"If you're gonna be so noisy drinking that thing, just go somewhere else. I'm trying to do actual work here."

This had been the last straw for the engineer, who violently closed her volume of Mr. Tompkins in Paperback before angrily throwing it on the floor and walking upstairs in a cold silence.

Erin, sitting at her desk, put her head into her hands. She sighed, mentally apologizing to her friend and trying not to cry. She had one goal for the day, it wasn't even 9am and somehow she managed to fail at it. She heard something clattering to the floor upstairs, then again, and again. She closed her eyes shut, resuming her mental apologies and cursing the tears that rolled on her cheeks.

 

_

 

Holtzmann had tried to ignore the stinging pain that Erin's little attacks threw at her all morning induced, but she had reached her breaking point the instant the redhead made it clear she didn't even want to be around her.

Holtzmann had been wanting to make it as easy as possible for her friend by showing her they could casually co-exist in one room without problem, as an attempt to make her see "professionalism" was safe and sound. As an attempt to make Erin relax. Holtzmann had just wanted to respect her wishes, as hurtful as it was to pretend everything was fine and that everything Erin did didn’t make her want to scream how much she would worship her, body and soul, if she just gave her a chance to. Yeah, her little "something more" was apparently a big "something more". What a shitty time to realize that. But again, she’d always had a terrible timing.

She knew Erin had a short night, she had mentioned it when they tried to make small talk when Erin came back with their coffees. But lack of sleep was not an excuse for being as horrid as the physicist had been for the last hour. Again, Holtzmann had to wonder if she actually did something to make her mad, or if Erin genuinely thought everything she had said and was just speaking her mind. The engineer was tired of thinking, and thinking, and thinking some more.

The instant she walked into her lab after Erin's last comment, she grabbed the first non-explosive object in her vicinity she could find, and promptly threw it on the floor, the pipe's noise as it hit the cement chasing her thoughts away and easing her frustration. Yes, that would work. She threw a metal can onto a wall and looked it bounce off of it and onto the floor, the clanking making her close her eyes. She took a deep breath.

Holtzmann wasn't an aggressive person, she wasn't even an angry person, but she found throwing things around (or swinging a pipe and breaking things) did wonder to cool down one's temper. She did not usually do any of this with someone else to hear or see it, though. 

She winced as a creeping feeling of shame and fear of judgement chilled her stomach. She wanted to go downstairs and apologize, but her brain was back to thinking. Erin did almost throw what was basically a small nuke on the ground the day she found out she had been fired. Maybe the physicist wouldn't judge her so hard. She frowned at herself for even caring about what Erin would think, or was thinking.

Holtzmann turned on her old boombox on one of her shelves and turned up the volume as high as her eardrums could bear. She let the loud music clear her mind, took her cup of coffee and got ready to get lost in a new project.

 

_

 

 

"Well that escalated quickly."

Abby's mocking and disapproving voice in her ear made Erin wince. She had gone into the garage to get away from Holtzmann's painfully loud music. It had been two hours since the engineer turned it on, and the volume was nowhere near going down; as a matter of fact, it might have gone up after Erin had tried to yell over "Take On Me" to tell the blonde to turn it down. She didn't have the heart, "or the right" she thought, to get up there and turn it down herself. She kind of deserved it. Erin found the garage to be kind of soundproof, so she sat down on the floor there for a few minutes before everything came crashing down at once and calling her best friend, telling her everything that had happened in the last two days.

"Erin, I love you, but god you can be such an ass sometimes."

"I know, I just... I don't know what to do." Erin's voice was small, and Abby noticed she was about to cry again. The researcher sighed.

"Do you want me to come over? The roads have cleared and the city isn't that big a mess anymore, what with the weather improving and some parts of town getting their electricity back and all. I could be there in less than an hour."

"I don't... know. I don't want to be here anymore but I also don't want to leave her like this."

"I'm not asking to switch places, I'm asking if you want me to be there with the both of you."

"Believe me, there's nothing I'd want more but once we aren't alone together anymore, it's just gonna be... it. You know what I mean?"

"Not really, no." Abby sounded unimpressed, and added after hearing Erin sniffle "It sounds like an excuse to me. You just really don't know what you want. Ever."

"Abby..." now Erin was hurt.

"No no no. You know deep down that Holtz isn't the type for staying mad at someone. Hell, she actually tried to dislike you by loyalty to me when she first met you, and look how that turned out." Abby paused to snort. "The girl might be loud but she's really sensitive and has her head on her shoulders. You know she would do fine with an apology-"

"You say that but you didn't hear her throwing things around in there."

"- and a full explanation."

At this, Erin swallowed and promptly answered:

"You know I can't do that. First, I really don't think she is interested in me in that way. Secondly, I'm the one who decided to keep it professional and I still stand by this, I can't let this ruin-"

 

"Oh my god, Erin, you're like a broken record!" Abby desperately screamed. "You are a good scientist, Holtzy is a good scientist, you both love your work and would never jeopardize it for this; we all know it. I wouldn't give a shit if you and her were banging on your off-time, and neither would Patty-"

"Damn right! As long as it's not on my stuff, or on the counter where we cook things!" Patty's voice came from behind Abby, interrupting her shortly before the researcher resumed:

"- what I do give a shit about is you hurting Holtzmann's feelings, and yours in the process. This is the kind of thing that would break the team apart, not you and Holtz holding hands and making out."

"But-" Erin tried, weakly, but she knew she had lost the battle.

"No! I've seen you make excuses and avoid chances at happiness before in an attempt of protecting yourself from getting hurt. Hell, you abandoned me and our project because of that..."

"... That is still the biggest regret of my life, and I'm still so, so sorry." Erin's voice cracked.

"Yeah, well, make it up to me once and for all by not ruining this and letting it become the second biggest regret of your life." Abby paused before continuing "Actually, considering everything you've been telling me, this whole mess would become the number one biggest regret of your life. You like her, Erin; a lot."

"Yeah, I think I do, yes." The physicist passed a hand through her bangs and wiped away the tears on her cheeks. She sighed deeply before closing her eyes and letting her head fall on the wall behind her. "I really do."

"Yes you do, so just go apologize to the poor girl and remember, if you hurt her, I'll kick your ass. And if she hurts you, I'll kick her ass." Abby sounded serious.

"So much for all of this not breaking up the team..." Erin mumbled.

"Oh my g- ERIN! Just- You know what, I'm hanging up now. Just go already." The redhead could hear her best friend mumble "Goddamn infatuated idiots. Did we drink all the Tequila? I need like, 3 shots" before the line clicked, and the faint music coming from upstairs became the only thing she could hear. 

She gulped. Abby was right, as she often was, about everything. Erin couldn't help being scared senseless at the prospect of Holtzmann brushing her off, especially after what she pulled this morning. Knowing Abby and Patty would be there no matter what was what gave her the strength to get up on her feet. The small possibility of Holtzmann accepting her apology gave her the courage to open the garage door. The terrifying prospect of the engineer rejecting her made her slow-down her steps for a few seconds; but the even-more terrifying but exhilarating idea of Holtzmann maybe, possibly, liking her back made her carry on onto the stairs leading to the lab, heart pounding and chest heavy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Erin goddammit get your shit together" - Everyone  
> *whispers* Chapter 9 will arrive /very/ soon, and trust me, y'all aren't ready for it.


	9. Fight and Make-Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOOKIT WHAT'S HERE!  
> Just a little reminder that English isn't my first language so I'm sorry if anything doesn't sound or "flow" as well as expected.  
> This chapter is longer than the others! Like, a lot!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> Thank you Alex (askboxangel) again and again and again, especially for editing /this/ chapter.

When Erin's shaky feet reached the laboratory, Holtzmann was nowhere to be seen. Her resolve deflated instantly and her eardrums rang, the latter might have been because of the boombox blaring the beginning of 'Eye Of The Tiger' though. She winced as the volume hit her full force and walked to the cassette player with the intention to lower the volume. She didn't get the chance to, as a voice boomed over the music the instant she put her fingers around the volume button.

"What do you think you're doing?" Holtzmann had appeared in the stairs, wiping her hands with a towel and walking down until reaching the lab's floor. Her goggles were on her nose, but Erin could still see the frown on the blonde's face; she gulped. Holtzmann had changed into a generic brown jumpsuit, and judging by the fresh grease stains all over it, she had been furiously working for the past few hours.

Despite the obviously reprimanding tone, the physicist still started to turn down the volume a little to be able to speak without screaming. She could see Holtzmann's jaw clench, and the expression made her stop. Well, guess she will have to scream a little bit then.

"Sorry, I was just- I was wondering if we could talk. Without us destroying our ears, or our vocal chords"

Holtzmann walked right past her without paying her any attention, before sitting down on a stool and looking over the blueprints and plans scattered all over her workbench.

"I'm busy." She finally mumbled, loud enough for Erin to hear her, and took off her goggles.

The physicist took a deep breath, closing her eyes to gather some courage. She came to stand next to the engineer, who was still refusing to look at her, and in a shaky breath, she spoke.

"I'm sorry."

Holtzmann flipped over a piece of paper, inspecting it before taking a pen out of one of her front pockets and writing notes. Erin frowned, maybe she didn't talk loud enough.

"Holtz, I'm sorry." She tried again, louder this time. Still nothing from the blonde, and just like that, the anger was back.

"Holtzmann!" Erin yelled and slammed one hand on the plan in the blonde's hands, smacking it back on the table. 

"I heard you the first time." Came the equally annoyed answer, but much lower. Holtzmann finally turned to look up at Erin. Her eyes were hard, but something about the frown on her face made Erin twitch. She didn't look angry, she looked sad. The physicist's heart ached. She took another deep breath.

"Listen, I-" The music changed to 'Call Me' and Erin rolled her eyes in exasperation, before continuing. "I'm really sorry. I acted like a jerk, and I didn't mean any of the things I said." Her eyes were apologetic. 

Holtzmann crossed her arms and shifted in her seat, now avoiding Erin's gaze. She chewed on her lips, still frowning, and Erin took that as a sign to continue.

"Those last few days have been pretty hard, I had a shitty night... I'm very sorry."

"That's not an excuse." The hurt in Holtzmann's voice made Erin run a hand down her face in an attempt to gather her thoughts. The engineer still wasn't looking at her, the music was still impossibly loud in her ears, and she was starting to feel herself panic. She swallowed.

"I know." Her answer came out strangled. She knew what she had to say, but her throat was starting to contract and her breath was coming out short; and she just couldn't bring herself to say it. Holtzmann noticed her clenching hand, still on the workbench, and finally looked at her.

"Do you have a better one, then?" The engineer tilted her head and uncrossed her arms, letting one fall on her thigh, the other gesturing at Erin to carry on with her apology. As the redhead stayed silent, Holtzmann shook her head, made a face, and stood up, taking her plans with her and walking to another bigger and messier work table against one of the walls. 

Erin was cursing her own name, eyes on the ceiling in exasperation and hands clenched at her sides. She finally turned and walked to Holtzmann after a few seconds, to stand once again next to her. 

"I do. Have a better excuse, I mean. I-"

The engineer's hands were on the table as she was leaning over it and observing a humming little device, poking it with tools Erin didn't even know the name of. She started taking notes again.  
The feigned ignorance was getting to the physicist rather quickly, and the music was still obnoxiously loud, rubbing her the wrong way. Erin was trying, hard, and Holtzmann wasn't even looking at her, and then the engineer took out her phone to text someone and somehow, this made Erin snap.

"Look at me!" She screamed over Blondie's painfully loud voice, making Holtzmann slowly turn her head back to her and put her phone back in her pocket. Erin spoke (more like yelled) again.

"This really isn't easy for me and you're not helping. Yes, I was a complete asshole but I came here to apologize and give you an explanation and you're just...just-"

"Use your words, Gilbert." Holtzmann looked bored now. Erin exploded.

"Would you just stop it! Stop that! Drop the nonchalant act for once in your goddamn life and just listen to me!" Erin thought she was going to hurt her throat, the volume of her voice echoing in the already very loud room. 'Sweet Child O' Mine' started playing and the redhead closed her eyes and drew both her lips in her mouth in annoyance. She was going to throw that boombox into a wall.

"That is a terrible way to apologize to someone, I hope you realize that." The engineer leaned on her workbench with one elbow, tilting her head again.

"I'm trying!"

"Poorly." The engineer turned back to her notes and grabbed her pencil one more time. 

And that was it.

"Oh for fuck's sake." Was the last thing Holtzmann heard Erin shout before the redhead grabbed her pencil off of her hand and threw it across the room, making her look up. She felt fists grab her collar and thought that maybe Erin was going to punch her, and was stunned when no fists crashed on her face, but lips crashed on hers instead.

The engineer didn't register what was happening before the hands grabbing her jumpsuit roughly cupped her cheeks instead and the lips on her mouth started moving, and then she realized; too late, as Erin backed away. The warm hands of the physicist were still on her face when she spoke again.

"Do I have your attention now?" Erin's face was burning, but the stunned look on Holtzmann's face and her slow, incredulous nod gave the redhead the strength to go on.

"I didn't mean any of it, okay? I had a hard last couple of days because all I could think about every goddamn second of my days was you. Everything that you said or did drove me crazy because I couldn't focus, all I had in mind was you, you, you. And- And I had a shitty night because I was trying so, so hard, not to give in and get down on that mattress with you and just kiss you until I couldn't breathe. I think the way you hold yourself is impossibly hot and I really couldn't care less about your feet on the table. The way you hold your books is weird and adorable and so very you and I know you would never damage them because, god, you love those stupid physics books more than I do. And the way you drink your coffee? It does drive me mad, not because it's noisy but because that's a sound I realized I love hearing in the morning, or at any hour of the day, because just having you around me makes me feel good and safe and-"

"Erin. Please, Erin." Holtzmann put her hands around the back of the neck of the now-hyperventilating physicist, making her stop in her tracks. Her voice was as shaky as Erin's when she spoke again. "Shut up."

The engineer saw concern flash through Erin's eyes at her words and quickly swallowed her worries in a kiss before she had time to voice them, the physicist letting out a surprised gasp instead. Holtzmann's thumbs stroked both sides of Erin's jaw, slowly, and the redhead finally relaxed.

For a few seconds, their lips moved slowly, both of them sighing in contentment. Erin's hands found Holtzmann's hips, and the engineer's fingers shifted back and forth between her partner's neck, hair, jaw, ear, cheek.. each touch more tender than the last. The physicist languidly pushed Holtzmann against the workbench, the rough halt when her rear bumped against it making Erin's hips lazily crash against the blonde's. They both gasped and Erin's hands moved to Holtzmann's waist, holding her tighter.

"Can I just add one last thing..." Erin managed to say in a whimper, eyes closed and without breaking their kiss or embrace. Holtz's chuckled through her nose, deepening the kiss ever so slightly before nodding, smirking as Erin's hips pressed harder against hers in reaction.

"Professionalism can go and screw itself" The redhead whispered, and both could feel each other's laugh on their lips. 

Holtzmann's right hand slithered down to Erin's lower back, her fingers lightly touching heated and slightly damp skin under the physicist's loose shirt. Her fingers then moved beneath the band of Erin’s jeans, grazing and teasing and eliciting a low whimper from the redhead. The sound, new and enticing, made Holtzmann moan in turn before she gently grasped Erin's hair and deepened the kiss.

The heat might have started to get more livable during the day, but the air around them became gradually warmer and warmer as they moved faster and faster. Holtzmann pushed Erin backward, holding her by the hips, and Erin's arms came around her shoulders, fingers scraping blonde locks and shoulder blades over her jumpsuit in a messy dance. The redhead's back slammed against warm metal and electrical cables. Holtzmann managed to mumble that it wasn't dangerous before starting kissing the corner of Erin's mouth, then her jaw, and finally putting an open-mouthed kiss under her ear. The blonde's lips had not left Erin's skin for even a millisecond.

"Wait," Erin panted, absentmindedly remembering something, and whimpering as she felt a leg press between hers. "Fuck, Holtz, I had-" another moan escaped her as the blonde sucked on her pulse point and slid a hand under her shirt. "I had something else to say before-" 

"Yeah?" Holtzmann whispered against her ear. The painfully warm hand caressed her stomach, going from the button of her jeans to under her breasts in a slow back and forth. Erin's knees grew weaker as each stroke went lower, then higher each time.

"Nevermind." She breathed out, before grasping the engineer's collar with both hands once more, desperately forcing their lips to meet again in a moan. 

Holtzmann's hand slid under Erin's bra to cup her breast in a quick motion; the blonde's fingers, although calloused from her craft, stroked ever-so-gently at her nipple. Erin grunted and hurriedly started to unbutton her partner's jumpsuit in reaction, the sudden need for more skin contact overwhelming her. Holtzmann's hands moved away from her body to help her undo her fourth button, eliciting a whine from the physicist.

"No, let me... just-" Erin frustratingly breathed out, still not inclined to take her mouth away from the blonde's, "just keep touching me." She finally whimpered, grabbing Holtzmann's hands and ardently guiding them back to her breasts.

"Shit, okay." Holtzmann obliged, a tremor in her voice. Her hands shakily moved over the physicist's chest, ribs, and stomach; stroking and grasping every inch of skin she could reach. All of Erin was driving her mad before, but add the confidence and clear desperation in the redhead's every touch and word to the mix and the blonde was sure she was going to die in the next few minutes. And when Erin slid an arm around her to messily lower her to lie on the ground before straddling her hips and fondling one of her now-bare breasts; she really thought she had died for a short second. A pinch to her nipple and teeth biting her neck quickly made her snap back to reality.

"God, Erin." The blonde choked out as the physicist started grinding her hips on hers, her lips now sucking on her neck, undoubtedly making the already-stinging bite mark there more and more prominent. 

Holtzmann's hands flew up to grip Erin's moving thighs, holding them down to increase the pressure. She cursed as the redhead's hand slithered down her stomach, and stopped breathing altogether when she felt lean fingers slither between their bodies and slide in her underwear. Erin gasped audibly in the crook of Holtzmann's neck, the blonde letting out a sob in turn; the wetness and warmth overwhelming them both.

Erin's fingers were moving so slowly and reverently, Holtzmann felt like she was being analyzed; studied. The physicist learning what kind of pressure would make her gasp, what kind of stroke would make her fingers dig into the thighs she was still gripping, what made her head tilt back and her back arch. And Erin was a fast learner. Holtzmann chuckled in between two moans.

The redhead titled her head up at the sound, kissing her way up from Holtzmannn's ear, to her jaw, then to her mouth, biting the blonde's lips before capturing them again. The engineer hummed happily into the kiss. The two of them had found a surprisingly slow rhythm. Holtzmann's hands coming to wrap around Erin's shoulders as the physicist shifted her position to simply lay on top of her, never removing her hand. 

"Cramp in my thigh." she mumbled on Holtzmann's lips and felt the blonde smile. She also felt a hand slide under her shirt, and knuckles gently stroking her side. Now it was her turn to smile. Holtzmann's fingers quickly found one of her breast, then nipple, and her smile evaporated in a moan. She unconsciously pressed harder between the blonde's legs and felt Holtzmann's nails dig into her shoulder blade. 

Their rhythm changed instantly, the both of them moving faster, every touch getting rougher, their kisses getting deeper. Holtzmann tugged on Erin's shirt and Erin, getting the hint, removed it as quickly as she could; temporarily removing her hand from in-between the blonde's legs, making both of them whine in complaint. They struggled to finally get Holtzmann's arms out of her jumpsuit before the blonde flipped them and pressed her whole body against Erin's, who was now lying on her back. 

The engineer didn't stop to marvel at the burning feeling of their naked chests pressing against each other, but instead quickly pinned one of Erin's hands over her head, her other hand working to undo her partner's jeans. She rapidly pulled them down as far as she could, as well as Erin's underwear, before breaking the kiss.

"I won't be as slow as you." Holtzmann whispered against Erin's ear, the sentence sounding more like a promise than a warning. Erin moaned, loudly, and nodded absentmindedly. At that, Holtzmann's hand moved down Erin's stomach and-

Music. Phone. Ringtone. Abby's ringtone.

Erin groaned and Holtzmann cursed, loudly, multiple times, in multiple languages, before reaching for Erin's pocket where the phone was still tucked. She pressed the "answer" button.

"Hey, Erin, how did it g-"

"We are busy."

"Holtzma-?!"

"BYE!"

In a swift motion, the blonde hung up, turned off the phone and threw it across the floor, making it slide and bump lightly against a wall. When she looked down, Erin was looking at her, stunned. Holtzmann snorted before kissing her again, moving her palm over the hand she still had pinned over Erin's head and interlocking their fingers.

"No more interruptions." She muttered on Erin's lips, before irreverently gliding her hand between the redhead's legs. Once the engineer was sure that Erin was ready, she slid two fingers inside of her, prompting a loud cry from the redhead.

Holtzmann started moving, gently, slowly, too slowly for Erin. The physicist whined at the insufficient pressure, moving her free hand to grasp Holtzmann's moving wrist. She tugged ever so slightly on it and the blonde got the message, loud and clear.

"Faster." Erin still whimpered, and Holtzmann felt like she had instantly combusted. Every inch of her body grew warmer, her arousal getting to a whole new high. She obliged with a moan against Erin's lips.

Their pace quickened and quickened until a few minutes later, Holtzmann's knee was pressed against her own wrist to give her thrusts more momentum, Erin's legs were wrapped around the engineer's body, their joint hands so tight it was hurting their fingers and the redhead's other hand clutched in Holtzmann's hair, holding her in place in the crook of her neck. The blonde was panting and Erin's eyes were forcefully shut, her throat dry from moans and silent screams; the both of them were sweating profusely, their bodies moving against each other without a pause.

"I'm-" Erin gasped and moved her free arm around Holtzmann's shoulder, pressing them more tightly together.

"Yes." Holtzmann grunted in turn, knowing what her partner was trying to say as she felt her tighten around her fingers. "Fuck, Erin, yes."

If every person walking down the street outside didn't hear Erin's scream, it would honestly be a miracle. Her nails dug between Holtzmann's shoulder blades as the peak of pleasure lit up all of her synapses. The blonde held her in place as she shook, fingers very slowly curling and dragging out the waves of ecstasy firing in Erin's every nerve.

When Holtzmann finally felt Erin relax under her, she carefully slid out her fingers, ungracefully wiping them on the bottom of her jumpsuit. She let go of the redhead's hand, their sore fingers entangling, before cupping her cheek. They were both still out of breath, Erin even more so, her eyes still shut, wheezing loudly each time she inhaled. Holtzmann affectionately pushed back the redhead's hair sticking to her forehead, before brushing her knuckles on her cheek once more. She got instantly drunk on the sight, deciding that this had to be the most captivating, and beautiful thing she had ever seen. Gertrude Aldridge's apparition just got downgraded in her mental list. _Nothing personal, Gert._

The blonde stopped her train of thought when Erin opened her eyes and looked right at her with heavy eyelids and a tired smile. Holtzmann chuckled.

"You need some water, don't you." The engineer cheekily inquired, and Erin raspily laughed, covering her face with her hand before nodding. 

"Yeah, me too." Holtzmann snorted before standing up and grabbing the bottle of water standing on her nearest workbench. She sat back on the floor and passed said bottle to Erin after drinking half of it. The redhead propped herself up on an elbow and did the same.

"Feeling better?" The engineer asked with a surprisingly shy smile, her disheveled curls falling over her face.

"Yeah." Erin smiled back before standing up on shaky legs, putting her jeans and underwear back in place and helping Holtzmann back up on her feet. "I'll be feeling even better once I have you screaming my name, though." The physicist slyly added with a smile before cupping the blonde's cheeks and kissing her languidly, messily leading her up the stairs without breaking contact.

"Oh boy." Holtzmann whimpered against Erin's lips.

They were going to need more water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Choo choo, the train to Sintown just arrived, hop in ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

**Author's Note:**

> *whispers* Erin that's gay
> 
> Art for that last scene: http://toodrunktofindaurl.tumblr.com/post/150527658196/nap-time-illustration-for-the-first-chapter-of


End file.
